Gleeman's Tales: "Royals" parody

September 24, 2014

After the #justwheeloftimethings post last time, I couldn't help but read off the list as if I were singing the song "Royals" by Lorde, so I decided to write some lyrics!

For your enjoyment, a parody song entitled "Wheel of Time Things."

Verse 1:

I’ve never seen Randland in the flesh

Cut my teeth on 14 books (but still no movie)

The wheel of time turns

And ages come and pass, leaving memories…

Pre-chorus:

The Wheel of Time is like

Smooth skirts, Darkfriends, chasing the Forsaken

Aes Sedai, braid tugging, blank expressions

Egwene don’t care; she’ll spy on you in your dreams

And Wheel of Time is like

Sul’dam, angreal, Daes Dae’mar

Ta’veren, tel’aran’rhiod, saidin, saidar

We don’t care; we are caught up in a love affair

Chorus:

Just Wheel of Time things (Wheel of Time things)

This series runs in our blood

The Dragon battles The Dark One

While romancing more than one woman

It’s just Wheel of Time things (Wheel of Time things)

You can call me Empress

JK I’m an Aes Sedai (Aes Sedai, Aes Sedai, Aes Sedai)

The Seanchan are the worst

Verse 2:

Folding your arms beneath your breasts

Draghkar, Myrrdraal, Trollocs, Gray Men, and Darkhounds

And everyone in Randland knows

That men are woolheads

And women are impossible

Bridge:

Rand’s got Lews Therin in his head

And Mat’s got memories from the dead

Nynaeve battles Moghedien

And wolves are talking to Perrin

I hope you have enjoyed my little attempt at songwriting. The Light illumine you; have a great week!

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