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A WHEEL OF TIME COMMUNITY

Red Ajah IWW2015: Individual Influences


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Hello, everyone~ I'm here on behalf of the Red Ajah in hosting this year's Women's Week! What I bring is on a more personal level, and I hope you will share your stories with us.

 

Our entire lives are influenced by those around us, even if we try not to be. Both men and women save lives daily, and destroy them. This week, though, we will focus on the ladies who have done good. I could ask you about your favorite female politician, or who your favorite historical figure is, but here, I want to know about your stories. Personally, who has influenced you? Your mother? Girlfriend? Daughter? Aunt? Friend? Your favorite actress? Lady Gaga, maybe? The nice barista who always asks how your day went and cares when you answer? I don't care who she is, as long as she is good for you.

 

What is her name? What did she do to affect you? What is/was she like? Anything you want to share would be fantastic. Be as personal as you want, or as distant as you want, write us a book or write us a sentence.

 

Feel free to ask us questions, or gush or don't, as long as you enjoy yourself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'll start~

 

It's hard for me to choose any one to start with, so I will limit myself to two. For now. OwO

 

My first lady is Eien. She has many names, most of them annoying, but that's okay, I don't think we'll ever shake our high school habits. She was around in middle school and everyone knew her (fantastic artist, fantastic singer, blah blah blah), but I never got to talk to her until freshman year when we just happened to sit by each other in history. She acted like we were already friends, which was a little intimidating, but also nice. My best friend was off in another high school, so in the midst of insignificat-now-but-majorly-upsetting-at-the-time events, I needed her. She stood up to the mean kids and even got into a fight with another friend of mine over who I would sit with at lunch. D= My friends never could get along with each other. She and I don't talk much anymore, but through her I made a plethora of new friends who all made high school a little better. I started liking going to school, stopped faking sick, just because I had people I liked to talk to there. X3 It was like I was part of something bigger.

 

Second, I have Hannah. Hannah is THE most obnoxious person you will ever meet, she once yelled “HEY” at me for an hour straight and didn't stop because I didn't say “hey” back, even though I said pretty much every other word in my repertoire to make her shut her mouth. She's worse than Navi. I have more pictures of her dog on my phone than I do of her. One of the first things she ever said to me was that her dog ate her hand, and I was a srs teenager. No jokes. Miserable people aren't allowed to laugh! We wear black and talk about our feelings only.

Despite being annoying, Hannah is also nice, she cares about everyone, even the people she fights with, even the people who hurt her severely. Without Hannah, I wouldn't be me, the fantasy world we created was good for a stressed out teen, for some reason after just a month of knowing her, she was my best friend. “Mom, if anyone calls to talk to me, tell them I am asleep. If Hannah calls, wake me up.” That was seven years ago (wow!). They say you need to love yourself before you can love someone else, but sometimes that path is paved by knowing you can be loved.

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the one woman who left the greattest impression on me was my mother eibhleann, more than of course she gave birth to me. i was schooled largely at home and without her i probably woldnt have learned how to read or write, least not until i was an adult and that woulld have handicapped me probably. ive never felt so many different emotions, sometimes seperately, sometimes together, than i did for her or when i remember her now; i hate her because she could be very cruel, like shed sometimes beat me, though not as much as my father, but her verbal abuse was worse and though i know in retrospect she might have done some of it because she was in pain alot and just taking bad moods out, its hard to excuse that, and ive even felt some hate, even though i know its misplaced, in that she was always doing very stupid, avoidable things and sometimes even emotionally harrassing my father which would provoke him into beating her and that would upset everyone.

 

i feel sad and guilt about her because she was obvoiusly always suffering mentally and i usually couldnt do anything about it or when i could, a lot of times i was too afraid to. i am proud of her because she always seemed very fearless until the end and even though she generally couldnt win fights against my father you could clearly tell she unnerved and cowed him most of the time. i love her because even though she was unstable and could be horrible, simple affection has always disarmed me pretty easy and so her just saying she loved me or hugging me or those times she would read to me or teach me other things, sometimes just acknowledging i exist without yelling at me or anything, i remember very fondly and i know she suffered alot for me and my siblings when she didnt have to, she could have just left. i feel all that about her and i dont know, maybe because i felt so much about her, somehow i see her in most other women i ever interact with, same way i see my father in most men.

 

only a few women i dont see that way and two of them are my older sister áine and one of my aunst sabhdh, maybe because ive known them for as long as i can remember and so they are distinct to me. my sister was really more of a proper mother to me than our actual mother because she was rarely ever cruel and when our mother didnt want to look after me or the few times she agreed with what my father was doing to me, my sister would always defend me and help me bathe or whatever else. i felt more comfortable talking to her about what i hoped to do when i grew up and other things than our mother because i knew she would always be encouraging or give me good advice, unlike our mother who you never really knew what she would. my aunt is mostly just a very nice person though i admire her too because she is obviously strong, like i remember the few times we visited her growing up she would say whatever she wanted to or about my father and even slap him and my father would just take it because he seems afraid of her. she would always have sweets for me when we visited and she was very nice to me and her house was always very clean, i never wanted to leave. she even tried to get custody of me from my parents one time, my mother didnt seem to care but my father went crazy and smashed her windows and threatened to light her house on fire but my aunt just dared him to and he was too chicken to do it, though she wasnt allowed to keep me. she and my sister have helped look after me a lot when i was extremely sick not that long ago and im grateful forever for everything theyve ever done for me.

 

my mother remains the one who i think affected me the most, psychologically and all, and i think i will always feel the most for her. i have never felt anything bad towards my aunt, i think its impossible for anyone to unless you piss her off like my father, and ive also usually had good feelings towards my sister - but my mother made me feel everything and her memory still does which is powerful.

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Thank you, that was beautiful, and I'm not exaggerating. This is not what I had expected, but much better. I find mothers do that a lot, evoke opposite emotions for all the different things they did. Your story was lovely, thank you for sharing, Taltos. (=

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My mom.Because moms are an influence always.

 

My ex best friend who I stopped talking to in 4 grade and only just started talking tp again. She taught mevthat there was no shame in being a nerd.

 

My English teacher. She always stands up for what she believes in.

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Definitely my mom. The woman is a saint who goes above and beyond for me, my husband and boys, and my sister. 

 

Several of my friends. One that stands out is the friend who stepped up when I was in the hospital in 2010.  Well, she and her husband did.  She was in her last couple months of a difficult pregnancy but she and her husband came and picked up my boys and their clothes and school things and took them home for the 3 weeks I was in the hospital, both locally and after I had been life flighted out.  She is an amazing person -- strong, confident, capable, vivacious and genuine and she and her husband have raised some phenomenal kids (they have 6 now, ranging in age from 4 to early 20's).  The fact that they opened their home to my boys and treated them as their own melts my heart to this day and she and her husband hold a very special place in my heart.  She took them to and from school, took them by the house to ensure our horses and dogs were taken care of, fed them, loved them, hugged them . . .

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A woman who influenced me in a positive way, was my English teacher in primary school, Miss van Niekerk. She fostered my love of reading, introducing me not only to the classics like Shakespeare at age 10, but even fantasy. She opened worlds for me :)

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Shakespheare at age 10? Wow, that would take skill~ I didn't even like normal books at age 10 unless they were about animals. =D

 

Your friend sounds like a wonderful lady, Dar, it's always nice to know you have someone you can depend on!

 

Teachers, moms, and friends, always bringing out our best! Thank you for your sharing~!

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I think last year I told my moms story, but this year I lean toward voicing my sisters story. She is younger than I am and while she still relies on outside help sometimes, she is a very independent woman, who lives on her own, goes to school full time (pays for it too), and works full time. She knows that she does not want to get married or have children and she is proud of those facts. While I was married early in life and have partnered with my husband to get through life, she has accomplished what life has to offer all by herself. Looking at her and how she has developed from child to woman has been a very gratifying experience and words cannot express how proud I am for what she has done.

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