[December discussion]: Random acts of kindness

[Niniel]

Thanks again to everyone that posted in our last discussion thread. Now it´s a new month and a new topic. We are going to discuss random acts of kindness. And who could be more suited to lead this discussion than our very own Random?!

 

Random joined DM in July this year. He immediately became a member of the Black Tower and it didn´t take him long to reach the rank of a Storm Leader. He is also a member of Shayol Ghul.

 

Random does  charity benefits, concerts, or volunteering regularly. Last weekend his band, Pride Falls, took part in a charity concert that Random hosted. All the proceeds from the concert benefited Christmas House, a local charity that buys toys and clothes for needy families in the area to give their children on Christmas. I will let Random tell you more about his view on charity and give example on what we can discuss.

 

As usual - respect each other!

 

Please don´t post until Random gets here.

[Night Angel Kage]

Oh, Charity is terrible, just the other day she knocked out my friend simply because he said some se-Oh, this isn't a person were talking about? You should really see my friend though, Charity certainly does not favor him.

 

My thoughts on Random acts of kindness? Man, I think anyone who does this is awesome. There are many people in this world who don't have much, so those who give to others are sharing their prosperity. For instance, in my house we have a LOT of food, to much sometimes. So those things we don't use we donate. My family also volunteers at a church giving out food to those less fortunate. I'm not religious, but I do think that those more fortunate should help those they can. I mean, is it really so bad to help out with charity events, donate to a good cause, or else be a human being? You know, I go to High School, and every where I turn there is someone being a bloody jerk to someone else, who doesn't deserve it. I also see to many self entitled people in the world who care nothing about anything except themselves, so I really think it would be nice to see more people helping others in need.

 

That's my view, in any case.

[Niniel]

Hm... *points to the OP* Please don´t post until Random gets here.

[Night Angel Kage]

Ah, you know, my excuse? I missed that part.

 

Edit: Can you delete it? I apologize.

[Niniel]

Nah. No problem. Just wanted to prevent others from doing it too.

[randomh3r0]

Hey everybody! Having trouble getting on much with the site issues lately, but I wanted to post here for sure to get things kicked off:

 

I believe that such acts of kindness really make this world have it's better moments. 

 

This last weekend, my band and I threw a benefit concert for a local charity, Christmas House. We invited another band, contacted local businesses who donated stuff for an auction, and so on. We got a couple hundred people out, and ended up raising over $1,100 in money and donations. The charity takes the money and goes to buy new clothes and toys, that they let needy families come and have for their children.

 

After this great night, I went to visit my family and told my mom all about it. She just smiled at me, and after talking, she told me that she had gone to the same place when i was young, because we were very poor growing up. It was a great feeling to know I had randomly helped those who had helped us: you never know who will benefit from your good deeds!

[Cbinpdx]

Hey everybody! Having trouble getting on much with the site issues lately, but I wanted to post here for sure to get things kicked off:

 

I believe that such acts of kindness really make this world have it's better moments. 

 

This last weekend, my band and I threw a benefit concert for a local charity, Christmas House. We invited another band, contacted local businesses who donated stuff for an auction, and so on. We got a couple hundred people out, and ended up raising over $1,100 in money and donations. The charity takes the money and goes to buy new clothes and toys, that they let needy families come and have for their children.

 

After this great night, I went to visit my family and told my mom all about it. She just smiled at me, and after talking, she told me that she had gone to the same place when i was young, because we were very poor growing up. It was a great feeling to know I had randomly helped those who had helped us: you never know who will benefit from your good deeds!

 

 

Wow, serendipity! Synchronicity? Well, whatever, you know what I mean.  It seems supernatural...

 

Well done on your fundraiser, those kids are gonna have some happy Christmas memories!

[Kaylee]

My brother is a big supporter of Kids Need to Read. He volunteers with them at just about all their events. I was able to help out a few times myself. It's good to see the kids getting books and being excited about it. I hope to help out more as well.

[randomh3r0]

I sure thought so!

 

And it's not all about big fundraisers or anything. Sometimes being randomly kind is purely that: doing something nice for someone without ever receiving recognition for it. I recently read on Facebook that a friend had her whole tank of gas paid for by a stranger who never came forward. To me, that's gotta be a great feeling.l Totally brightening someone's day without them knowing it.

 

Anyone got stories like that?

[WildTaltos]

thers no sch thngs as rand om act of kndness if yuor absurdly short and asurdly ugly. Evryoen wll eithre try no t to see yuo or be flat uot crul. I cnt thnk at lal of instnce whn strngre di somethin kin d to me - only strngers who knd to me aer oens whos job is to be niec, liek nurses. No sch thngs as radom act ofkindness unles yuor prety. Yur all luck y to be prtty, so yuo bettr kee p taht in mind an d be thnkful to dum b luck wth genes fo r it, or els yuod hav end up liek me.

[randomh3r0]

Well Taltos, I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'd like to point out the fact that I've never seen a single person who benefited from what I speak of. I have no idea who the children are who use the charity I tried to help, and looks have nothing - AT ALL - to do with this concept. 

 

Besides, some kindnesses are perceived: just because a nurse's job is to develop rapport with her patients doesn't mean she is paid to be kind.

[Panchi]

My grandfather's wish before dying was that instead of mourning that day we would go to an orphanage to help the kids. So each year we go to the orphanage and arrange lunch for kids.

My school arranges for clothes, food and other such things to be given to the less priviledged ones. Each year we donate old books, clothes etc

one of the random acts of kindness that i think of is donating blood. The donor loses nothing and may not know who needs the blood but that may save someone's life

[WildTaltos]

I sure thought so!

 

And it's not all about big fundraisers or anything. Sometimes being randomly kind is purely that: doing something nice for someone without ever receiving recognition for it. I recently read on Facebook that a friend had her whole tank of gas paid for by a stranger who never came forward. To me, that's gotta be a great feeling.l Totally brightening someone's day without them knowing it.

 

Anyone got stories like that?

 

Well Taltos, I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'd like to point out the fact that I've never seen a single person who benefited from what I speak of. I have no idea who the children are who use the charity I tried to help, and looks have nothing - AT ALL - to do with this concept. 

 

Besides, some kindnesses are perceived: just because a nurse's job is to develop rapport with her patients doesn't mean she is paid to be kind.

onthng at all ? whyd yuo shre taht story thn? taht person hwo helpd the person yuor talking abuot obviusly cuold see ho w thy lookd, and if wer including da y to day ocurnces sch as taht, "randm" acts fro peopl yuo dont knw at fac to face interction, my day-to-dy occurnces shuold als o cuont, and tahts my two cnts. Lets not let yuo not likin me intrefer ok?

[randomh3r0]

Taltos, I assure you that my feelings towards you have absolutely no bearing on this conversation (and any time that's come up, I've asserted that my feelings towards you have always been positive). The topic is random acts of kindness: stories of when you've done this, experienced this, or anything else. This is not a debate, this is not a discussion about the opposite of kindness, we are keeping this thread to be about kindness and when that ideal has manifested itself randomly - with no acknowledgement or the giver, etc. 

 

We're going to keep this topic to that. Plain and simple.

[Cbinpdx]

Random, it's within the bounds of this discussion. If you're going to talk about random acts of kindness, it's reasonable to debate whether or not such acts really are random, or if altruism truly exists. 

 

I once had a philosophical debate with a friend on this issue, who argued that all such acts have selfish motives at heart. Why does he do it? Because it makes HIM feel good. Even if the recipient of his kind act doesn't know who did the act, or why.  

 

@Taltos, I would be very surprised to discover that everyone on this site is pretty - or even "normal", whatever that is. But I agree with you that people who are considered pretty tend to have more than their fair share of "luck", scholarships, and free, unsolicited help.

 

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[Niniel]

Random acts of kindness doesn´t have to mean gifts. It could be a smile, help someone find their way, let someone pass you in the super market queue... I can get very happy when the bus driver wish me a good day or when the waitress smiles and does a great job serving. I hope I give that back to others as well.

 

We don´t have many charity events (compared to USA) in Sweden, although they are becoming more common. We have had a good social security net so people haven´t had the need for charity. Now that net is getting weaker and weaker and some have to turn to churches to get food for the Christmas or clothes for their kids. So to me charity is both good and bad. It´s a sign that the community doesn´t take care of it´s people. But of course it also shows the kindness of the people that devotes time to help others.

 

This Christmas my school is sending Christmas gifts to an orphanage in Belarus. It contains the most basic things, like toothbrush and toothpaste, but also something extra, like clothes and toys.

 

I often give people charity gift vouchers. Often it´s from UNICEF. You give money so that they can distribute medicine, school materials etc to children in areas where there is a lot of poverty. It´s a great Christmas gift.

[Turin Turambar]

It is true the random act of kindness can be anything. helping push a car that has run out of gas to the gas station or shovelling the snow off a neighbors walkway without them knowing it.

 

You can debate motivation if you want. It always does make me feel better to help someone in need if I can because I hope that my helping will inspire someone else to do the same. It might even come back to be help for me or someone I care about. Call it karma or pay it forward or whatever you want, but I do think that you get what you give.

[Cbinpdx]

It is true the random act of kindness can be anything. helping push a car that has run out of gas to the gas station or shovelling the snow off a neighbors walkway without them knowing it.

 

You can debate motivation if you want. It always does make me feel better to help someone in need if I can because I hope that my helping will inspire someone else to do the same. It might even come back to be help for me or someone I care about. Call it karma or pay it forward or whatever you want, but I do think that you get what you give.

 

I agree, Turin. Both Kindness and Cruelty are contagious.  You can cause a long chain reaction of kindnesses (or cruelties) with one little act.  I don't know what the strangers I run into really NEED, but I try to really SEE them, and be kind. Just a simple smile from a stranger is enough to lighten a black mood, for me.

.

[Kaylee]

I agreed. I try to remember to smile at others and be kind since all too often other aren't. It's easy to get lost in ourselves, esp when busy. I figure if I let someone go ahead of me, or smile at someone who looks down then maybe their day will turn around. I know when it's been done to me it made a huge difference.

 

I've also, when I can afford it, paid for an offer behind/after mine at fast food. Who knows, maybe that gives them the opportunity to use the food money to do/get something they otherwise couldn't. I don't do it to be looked at or rewarded, but rather because sometimes we are given extra to help someone out.

[Cbinpdx]

Anonymously paying for someone's food. Great idea, Kaylee. 

 

I once had an English teacher who was a real %^&)@@. He was NOT well liked. He was deliberately very hard on his students, to encourage people to drop his class (which, like every class at the community college, starts the semester with too many pupils). Nevertheless, he was a very good teacher for those who had the fortitude to stick it out. I learned so much from him. Even though he was something of a curmudgeon, I liked him in a perverse sort of way. 

 

I made cupcakes one day and left one (anonymously) on his desk. 

[Nyanna al'Meara]

This thread reminds me of the song I Believe by Marcella Detroit:

"...give a little bit of love and you get it back..."

 

I think that the even littlest random things people do to make others feel better, or help them, make this world go round. Whether they have great impact on those for whom they're there for - such as the volunteer free call line Helpline for teenagers up in Aucks.

Or the small considerate thing that made my morning - when I rode to the mailbox on my green horse, and the truckie who normally screams up the valley road saw us from afar and slowed down, then when he saw he was supposed to be loading fertilizer right beside where I was waiting for the mail car, shut his big truck down and came over to tell me he'd wait until I was gone to start working there. That really contributed to restoring some faith in this normally pretty redneck community, in me :P

 

I'm a great believer in making people smile - there's no better feeling, for me or them at that moment. I don't care about who they are or what their story is, if a person on the street looks down or stressed it's amazing to see what a change can make if you flash them a genuine smile, or just say something nice.

[randomh3r0]

Good stuff so far! 

 

I do indeed stand corrected: what Taltos said is within the scope of this discussion. Thanks Jani, sometimes I need a reminder when leading a discussion that sometimes negative things will be mentioned, and I gotta allow that more often. 

 

That being said, I'd like to add a question or two to the discussion at this point:

 

What's the coolest random act of kindness you've read about in the news, online, etc? There was a recent article in the news in America about a police officer who had purchased socks and boots for a homeless person and a passer-by snapped a picture of this - without the officer even knowing.

 

To me, it's acts like this, where you don't even think or realize anyone is watching, that truly defines this concept.

 

Second question: is it selfish to commit a random act of kindness? - If you know that no one will ever know it was you who did this kind deed, is it still selfish knowing you'll feel good by doing it? I think it is to some extent, but even selfishness can yield positive results for another. 

[Cbinpdx]

Good stuff so far! 

 

I do indeed stand corrected: what Taltos said is within the scope of this discussion. Thanks Jani, sometimes I need a reminder when leading a discussion that sometimes negative things will be mentioned, and I gotta allow that more often.   *blows Random a kiss* 

 

That being said, I'd like to add a question or two to the discussion at this point:

 

What's the coolest random act of kindness you've read about in the news, online, etc? There was a recent article in the news in America about a police officer who had purchased socks and boots for a homeless person and a passer-by snapped a picture of this - without the officer even knowing.

 

To me, it's acts like this, where you don't even think or realize anyone is watching, that truly defines this concept.

 

Second question: is it selfish to commit a random act of kindness? - If you know that no one will ever know it was you who did this kind deed, is it still selfish knowing you'll feel good by doing it? I think it is to some extent, but even selfishness can yield positive results for another. 

 

 

Selfish: 

 

1. Concerned chiefly or excessively with oneself, and having little regard for others: a selfish child who wouldn't share toys.

 

2. Showing or arising from an excessive concern with oneself and a lack of concern for others: a selfish whim.

 

-American Heritage Dictionary

 

Someone can give money or do something (even on the spur of the moment) that is, on the surface, a kind act, but only because it benefits him in some way. I’ll admit to it; I’ve done it. How many times have you contributed to a cause when someone “passed the hat”, only because your social status would decrease if you didn’t do it? Your friends or co-workers would consider you mean and uncaring. 

 

I believe that many acts of charity, including random ones, occur because the donor is influenced, consciously or subconsciously, by what he thinks he will get by committing such an act.  For many a person of faith, charity is a tenant of his religion. It is an obligation. It ameliorates sins, it makes it more likely he will get to heaven, it’s good karma, etc. If he doesn’t perform these obligations, there could be divine backlash. 

 

 When you commit a kindness, the recipient of your good act often feel compelled, later in life, to do the same for someone else. In this way, he “pays it forward”. I’m not sure about the origins of this phrase, but I always knew the concept. Help someone out, because someone helped YOU out.  

 

For example: The first time I travelled abroad (Britain & Europe), I did it solo. I couldn’t have had a more charmed trip (except for catching a cold), because people were so exceedingly friendly and helpful. A kind woman in Munich actually put me up for the night in her guest bedroom! With a lovely, fluffy down comforter!  I couldn’t believe it.  I never would have asked for such a thing from a stranger: she volunteered! So did a different woman in Greece! People were eager to tell me the best places to visit, to give me directions, to teach me phrases in their language. 

 

So, of course, I “pay it forward” by being extra specially helpful to tourists.   I give them directions, tips, sometimes show off my favorite places for them, so they’ll have a good trip and, hopefully, remember my town as a great place to visit. But most of all, I do it because traveling to Europe gave me membership to the International Brotherhood of Travelers. We help each other out.  :)

 

For example: Someone taught me to read. It opened up whole new worlds for me. I will pay it forward by teaching some else to read.

 

When you perform any kind of charity, ulterior motives or no, your deeds reverberate forward in time. The repercussions of any such act are long reaching.  It's a beautiful thing. 

 

And of course, it makes you feel good. 

[Panchi]

Doing a good deed makes you feel good. So, by being kind you are being selfish as you also receive happiness. That happiness may even come from the smile that someone gives after they realise the kindness. 

 

Many times the act may involve a little sacrifice on part. If you are sacrificing something then you can't be selfish.

 

Taltos- I think you have a right to your opinions. As far as I know where you live people are suspicious of strangers. So an act of kindness by some random person would be considered suspicious and would not receive proper value. But there must have been kindnesses by those near to you. Family does not have to be kind, kindness is their choice.

[Smiley73]

 

I've got to say that small things can change a mood or a perspective,just saying hi to someone in passing sometimes puts a smile on your face. I think other random acts of kindness could be like the one above (self-initiated/pre-planned) but there's plenty of situations where you can just offer a helping hand to someone who looks lost or worried, it's a great way to restore some faith in humanity when you stop to help instead of just walking on by

 

as for it being selfish, I suppose you can look at it that way, yes you want something from being nice, whether it's good feels or atoning for something but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it, see it as good selfish, not bad, your gaining happiness by giving (your time/money/experience - whatever) instead of other ways of being selfish where you refuse to give anything to keep things as they are