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Week 5: Narg vs. Bela


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Poll: Week 5: Narg vs. Bela (131 member(s) have cast votes)

Who will win?

  1. Narg (27 votes [20.61%])

    Percentage of vote: 20.61%

  2. Voted Bela (104 votes [79.39%])

    Percentage of vote: 79.39%

Vote

#1 Dwynwen

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 04:02 PM

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or

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Write-up by: Nynaeve and Verbal32

The Contestants

Bela
Race: Horse
Weapon: hooves
Special: it’s a secret ;-)

Narg
Race: Trolloc
Weapon: wicked axe
Special: can speak


The Breakdown

Advantages
Bela: can kick you until you’re in the fetal position, and able to perform instant sex-change operation as a result
Narg: very strong, and smart. Narg smart.

Disadvantages
Bela: can’t kick to the sides / can’t talk / can’t fly (far)
Narg: unable to make small talk / makes for an awkward blind date


How we think the fight will go:


It was a dark day. Sort of gray, but darker. Not black though. No. Not black. Not that there’s anything wrong with black...

It was a bleak day. So very bleak. The day all feared. The day all knew was coming. Yes, THAT day. Tarmon Gai'don. The Last Battle. Good vs. evil. Having kids vs. happy hour. And people stood there, knowing that this battle will decide the fate of the world. And whether or not a babysitter was needed for tomorrow. And was the gas on?

The wind blew. Then didn’t. It was doing what the hell it wanted, as the wind often does. And all eyes were fixed on her. Light seemed to radiate from her hooves as she stood there, majestically. Bela’s mane sparkled in the sun, as if it had been shampooed that morning. And it very well might have. Her posture was flawless, and full of confidence. Her ears were erect and alert as she sized up her competition.

On the opposite side stood a monstrosity. It was eight feet tall, with a wolf’s muzzle, a goat’s hooves, and a timid –yet friendly- personality. He enjoys soft music and walks by the beach, followed by runs by the beach and eating whoever he can catch. He also enjoys pottery, specifically making various sized cookpots. He is none other than Narg, the fearsome Trolloc.

Holding his axe tightly, he eyeballed Bela. Without any considerable thought, he charged.

“BIG PUPPY! NARG WANT PLAY!”

Bela looked at him quizzically. He stopped halfway. He sized Bela up, or appeared to, and then looked away at his cookpot. Then he looked back at Bela and scratched his head.

“Narg need cookpot bigger.”

Bela rolled her eyes. Or appeared to. It is unknown to the general population if horses actually roll their eyes to signify derision or simply because they don’t have complete control over them.

“Neeeeiiiiiiiggggghhhhhh!!!!”

And Bela charged. Fast, because horses are pretty fast. Like the wind. A wind that rose from the Mountain of Mists. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning. Or something like that.

Narg attempted to end the fight in one blow of his mighty axe. He swung with a loud roar. His axe, however, met nothing but air as Bela’s flank smashed into him and knocked him unceremoniously to the ground. Several more times Narg tried to inflect damage with the axe, and each time he was unable to touch Bela. Eventually he decided to switch to his bow, which he had recently learned to use. Because he was...wait for it...smart.

Bela was giddy as she continued to knock the disgusting Trolloc to the ground. He was obviously frustrated, and this brought joy to the shaggy mare. Then Narg dropped his axe and drew a bow.

Narg drew his bow and fired. The arrow seemed to catch the aforementioned wind blowing from the Mountain of Mists and altered the path of the arrow. It flew over Bela’s head and struck a nearby tree.

“Narg confused. You make cookpot full now!” He drew a knife from somewhere and advanced on Bela. This was going to be the end of the loveable mare. And like that, a bright line formed in the air and twisted into a gateway. This was not unlike any other gateway, except this particular gateway just happened to slice the Trolloc right down the middle. Both parts of Narg slid to the ground with a slurping noise as Rand al’Thor walked through the open gateway. He walked up to Bela and patted her head.

“Hey girl, I’ve been looking for you. How have you been?” Rand glanced over and saw the neatly sliced Trolloc. “Wow, what are the chances of that happening, eh girl? It must be my ta’veren nature. Either that or you’re the Creator!”

With that, the Dragon Reborn chuckled to himself and led the shaggy mare away. He never saw the wink she gave him. Bela’s champion would be ready for the Last Battle.


Predicted Winner: the Cre…….uhh…..Bela.

You have until Saturday, February 18th at 9:00 p.m. PST to vote.
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#2 Ataxia

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 04:31 PM

The world just broke.

#3 trench

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 04:37 PM

Narg Smart. Narg kill horse.
"Bloody thing must have been designed by insane, cross-eyed Trollocs and built from the bones of the damned."

#4 Christine

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 05:03 PM

NARGY!

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#5 Didgya

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 07:05 PM

Finally a serious battle!

Narg stumbled into the village. He was hurt, hurt big bad as a bad author would say, but he must find the red top boy, he must. Narg thought of Targa, his wife or mate or breeding fun...whatever and thought how he would miss their long nights by that Age of Legends Casino making sweet... Then he heard it, a sound that the man boy made, it had to be him! He shuffled then did the Midwest slide into a stable, where a short stout horsey stood. On each side the other horsey's were stomping rhythmically as the SSH (short stout horsey) tilted its head at Narg. Narg giggled with glee, he knew that horsey's taste good and were not big bad without the pesky man on them. He could snack then get red top. Short and tasty would probable be the easiest and the most tender. The horsey's stomping increased until it reached a thundering crescendo! Narg paid it little attention as he advanced on former SSH and now S&T. "Come horsey, Narg nice, Narg gonna eat ya." Stupid horsey not smart like Narg, he not comprehend actual words, just nice sounds. He slid out his slightly curved catchpole, reaching for his snack before...Everything happened at once. Shorty horse bit the catchpole and jerked it so hard that Narg flopped onto the ground at her hooves.
"The name is Bela *%#**!" With that, Bela drove her hooves into the back of Narg's formerly whole skull. As the horsey's devoured Narg, his last thought was, I did'nt know horsey's could talk.
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#6 Rootbeer

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 07:14 PM

Narg: Me name is Narg. Me Great Lord's smartest Trolloc.
Bela: I am the Creator.

Narg promptly implodes.

Edited by Rootbeer, 12 February 2012 - 07:34 PM.


#7 mark

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 09:10 PM

Narg: Me name is Narg. Me Great Lord's smartest Trolloc.
Bela: I am the Creator.

Narg promptly implodes.


bela's not the creator! shes the neighblis! :biggrin:

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#8 cosmicpanda

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Posted 12 February 2012 - 10:09 PM

Neighblis. Oh, dear.

He's like ... Ceiling Panda?


#9 Shai-tan

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 01:07 AM

Neighblis. Oh, dear.

What's up with the first Pic lol

#10 Luckers

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 03:59 AM

"Narg smart!" Narg said.

"Neigh?" Bela replied, doubtfully.

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#11 Christine

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 04:54 AM


Narg: Me name is Narg. Me Great Lord's smartest Trolloc.
Bela: I am the Creator.

Narg promptly implodes.


bela's not the creator! shes the neighblis! :biggrin:



And, there goes my tea, all over the keyboard. Thanks.

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#12 Barmacral

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 05:13 AM


Narg: Me name is Narg. Me Great Lord's smartest Trolloc.
Bela: I am the Creator.

Narg promptly implodes.


bela's not the creator! shes the neighblis! :biggrin:



"Narg smart!" Narg said.

"Neigh?" Bela replied, doubtfully.


Morning == made

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YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS


#13 Smittyphi

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 06:42 AM


Narg: Me name is Narg. Me Great Lord's smartest Trolloc.
Bela: I am the Creator.

Narg promptly implodes.


bela's not the creator! shes the neighblis! :biggrin:


BEST. POST. EVAR!!!!

#14 Thom_Merrilin_UK

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 06:47 AM

Thanks, you've just cheered me up after a fairly rubbish day.

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#15 Tyzack

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 07:56 AM



Narg: Me name is Narg. Me Great Lord's smartest Trolloc.
Bela: I am the Creator.

Narg promptly implodes.


bela's not the creator! shes the neighblis! :biggrin:


BEST. POST. EVAR!!!!


Yes.

Fleigt heim, ihr Raben!

Mandrake, in the name of her majesty and the continental congress, get over here and feed me this belt!

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#16 MegaZeroX

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 03:16 PM

Are you kidding? You can't beat the Creator! Narg doesn't stand a chance!

#17 MegaZeroX

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 03:21 PM

Also, there needs to be an exhibition match between the winner of this and the winner of the final battle! (in short, Bela wins all!)

#18 Tyzack

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Posted 14 February 2012 - 08:27 AM

Also, there needs to be an exhibition match between the winner of this and the winner of the final battle! (in short, Bela wins all!)


I'd say Mat over Bela

but

Bela easily over Moridin.

Fleigt heim, ihr Raben!

Mandrake, in the name of her majesty and the continental congress, get over here and feed me this belt!

"If you are losing faith in human nature, go out and watch a marathon"
-Kathrine Switzer

 

"Bet on it!"

-President Barrak Obama 


#19 thebluetower

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Posted 14 February 2012 - 01:59 PM

Easily Bela, because Narg no hurt.

#20 Alric

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Posted 15 February 2012 - 12:24 AM

Bela: I am the Creator.


You forgot the CAPS.