Suddenly the warmth was gone. Siril opened her eyes and looked around. What had happened? As the sul´dam talked to her she understood. The sul´dam had somehow stopped her. Siril shivered. The sul´dam could obviously control both her body and her mind and it was terrifying. Siril took a new deep breath. Then the sul´dam told her to try it again. She closed her eyes and searched for the warm feeling. The block was gone and she had no problem finding it again. It was wonderful. She felt relaxed and yet filled with energy. She could feel not just herself but the room around her. She felt like home.
Without a warning the warmth was abruptly taken from her again. It was like a wall had shut her out. She could still sense it there somewhere but even though she tried to push the wall it wouldn´t move. The sul´dam started talking to her again and she gave up the attempt to reconnect with the wonderful warmth and listened to her. "That warmth you felt filling you was sadair. It is what you are able to use to do all of the tricks you are capable of doing. In that state you can use the different parts that make up saidar, earth, fire, water, air and spirit, to do many things. It is in learning how to manipulate these parts, how to mix them together and use them, that is your use. Every damane can do this, but to different capacities. How strong you are in your ability, and how well you can use saidar will set your path. You will be stronger in some of these elements and weaker in others, each damane has some parts that they are stronger in, but where their strengths lay is different for each one. The stronger you are, the more use you will be to the Empire. It is not all in strength though. Some of the weaves can become quiet tricky, and you will need to be quite skilled to do some of them. The more you are able to do, the more valuable you will become. This is your purpose. This is your place. Become the best that you can be at this and you will be well rewarded. Do you understand this?"
Siril couldn´t believe her ears. The sul´dam said that the warmth was saidar. Why did she say that? Was she trying to make her think that she could channel after all? She could not! She had put up with this to prove that she couldn´t channel, because that was what would set her free, but somehow the sul´dam tried to use that against her. Maybe the sul´dam still thought she could in fact channel? She had shown many signs of madness already. Siril wanted to run away but her feet wouldn´t move. A small part of her wanted to please the sul´dam so she would take away the block that prevented her from feeling whole. She felt disgusted when she recognized that but she knew she hadn´t really an option. To run away now wouldn´t work. She still had to stay and prove to the sul´dam that she couldn´t channel. That was her only ticket out of there. She nodded to show that she had understood.
"Now then, are you ready to continue your studies of saidar? Or do you have questions before we continue? We will try to use each element today so you can become familiar with them. It may be tricky at first, so do not be discouraged. If you behave, I will let you practice often to get better at it." Siril hesitated. Her voice was just a whisper as she answered the sul´dam. "Yes, Siril is ready to continue."
Edited by TinaHel, 08 February 2012 - 04:42 AM.