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Joke Thread!


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#41 Genevieve al'Thor

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 12:00 PM

hahahah!! wow we have funny people!

thanks vam!

the puns were hilarioius!

wonderful wonderful wonderful!
Music I heard with you was more than music,
And bread I broke with you was more than bread;
Now that I am without you, all is desolate;
All that was once so beautiful is dead.


Your hands once touched this table and this silver,
And I have seen your fingers hold this glass.
These things do not remember you, beloved,
And yet your touch upon them will not pass.

#42 Vambram

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 12:03 PM

You are welcome, Gen.

and I am laughing out loud with the rest of the jokes in here, too.
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#43 Genevieve al'Thor

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 12:18 PM

i came up with some modified jokes for myself!

When can you trust aclan chief to make the right descisions?

When he’s wearingwhite and has to look at the ground for a year!



What do you do with awetlander who has everything?

give him a woman toshow him how to use it properly.



For all the Maidensout there:

What’s the quickestway to a mans heart?

Straight through hisribcage.



The tinkers have wanderedaround for hundreds of years, even still men wouldn’t ask for directions.


Music I heard with you was more than music,
And bread I broke with you was more than bread;
Now that I am without you, all is desolate;
All that was once so beautiful is dead.


Your hands once touched this table and this silver,
And I have seen your fingers hold this glass.
These things do not remember you, beloved,
And yet your touch upon them will not pass.

#44 TinaHel

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 12:26 PM

These are great Gen!

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#45 Vambram

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 02:43 PM

Those are very funny jokes, Gen.

I laughed with everyone of them.
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#46 Aiel Heart

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 04:15 PM

While reading Winter's Heart last night, I noticed one of the Wise Ones made a joke about the men, saying "We are not clan chiefs discussing water-pledges over oosquai." So, I figure the wise ones probably often make jokes at the clan chief's expense. Thus, here are a few one-liners turned Aielish:

"The wise ones speak when they have something to say, the clan chiefs speak when they have to say something."

"Few wise ones admit their age; few chiefs act it."

"A roofmistress knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, and fears.
Her husband is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house who occasionally hide his spears."


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Niiiiice. These made me laugh :)

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Edited by Alanna, 24 March 2012 - 08:00 PM.

ChiliFestival.gif

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#47 Kate

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 08:52 PM

Thanks! I love all the jokes in this thread... always good for a laugh.

This I stumbled upon tonight and figured it deserved a spot here, too.

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And a couple more like the ones I posted the other day:

"The best way to get a clan chief to do something is to suggest he is too old for it."

"Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage."

(Side note: the last is simply a quote by Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly that I came across on the internet.)

#48 Vambram

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 09:08 PM

OMG

That LOLcats picture is HILARIOUS!!!!

Now I can go to sleep tonight with laughter in my heart.


Thank you, Kate.
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#49 Aiel Heart

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Posted 09 July 2011 - 09:12 PM

That. Picture. Is. AWESOME



Ji awarded up to here -- Alanna

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#50 ed2funy

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Posted 16 July 2011 - 05:04 PM

Got these in an email. Editing most of them for Aiel.






Maiden who goes hunting must beware of evil intent.


Wetlander who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.


Clan chief who fight with roofmistress all day get no peace at night.




Not really Aiel, but...
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

I have this stuffed animal named Ed, he's a monkeh. *nods*

I agree with the monkey in the blue suit.


#51 Genevieve al'Thor

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 09:12 AM


more jokes i modified! i love this one

one day as a wiseone was running home from a meeting
she slowed down to run with another wise one, who was good company for the journey
partway through the run the other wise one asked about a bottle the first wise one was carrying
whats that?" she asked
"oh," the first wise one replied, "its a bottle of oosquai, i got it for my husband."
and after a moment of thought the other woman replied "good trade"


The tired and thirsty Stone Dog threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere.
"Uh-oh," he thought. "This watering hole is reserved for skeletons."





Edited by Genevieve al'Thor, 23 July 2011 - 09:15 AM.
add another joke

Music I heard with you was more than music,
And bread I broke with you was more than bread;
Now that I am without you, all is desolate;
All that was once so beautiful is dead.


Your hands once touched this table and this silver,
And I have seen your fingers hold this glass.
These things do not remember you, beloved,
And yet your touch upon them will not pass.

#52 Kate

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 06:38 PM

Saw this on Reddit and figured it deserved a spot here...

How the Aiel slip armies worth of warriors around undetected:

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#53 Vambram

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 07:08 PM


more jokes i modified! i love this one

one day as a wiseone was running home from a meeting
she slowed down to run with another wise one, who was good company for the journey
partway through the run the other wise one asked about a bottle the first wise one was carrying
whats that?" she asked
"oh," the first wise one replied, "its a bottle of oosquai, i got it for my husband."
and after a moment of thought the other woman replied "good trade"

The tired and thirsty Stone Dog threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole and started to drink. But then he looked around and saw skulls and bones everywhere.
"Uh-oh," he thought. "This watering hole is reserved for skeletons."





*snickers with a grin*
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#54 Otpelk Cainam

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Posted 23 July 2011 - 07:17 PM

two maidens walked into a bar. the first one ducked.
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All the RP Signatures done by Ithillian. Bow before her siggy making greatness. SG Signatures done by myself.

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#55 Genevieve al'Thor

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Posted 26 July 2011 - 12:00 PM

hahahah!

a clan cheif had heard that many amoung his Aiel had began taking up things that didn't go well with the Aiel lifestyle, so he decided to teach them an object lesson.

he gathered them all together and held up four worms, placing each in a different container.

then he filled the first with oosquai, the second with tabac smoke, and the third with chocolate. the fourth he filled with good soil.

after a few hours he called his people back to where he had placed the jars.

the first, second and third worms were all dead, but the fourth on was alive and well.

"what can we learn from this lesson?" he asked the gathered aiel.

one young child from the back piped up, "that if we drink smoke and eat chocolate we won't get worms?"

this is another modified one.
Music I heard with you was more than music,
And bread I broke with you was more than bread;
Now that I am without you, all is desolate;
All that was once so beautiful is dead.


Your hands once touched this table and this silver,
And I have seen your fingers hold this glass.
These things do not remember you, beloved,
And yet your touch upon them will not pass.

#56 Vambram

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Posted 02 August 2011 - 04:52 PM

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This is for everyone who loves cats. The cats that belong to my wife and I are the same way. They HATE going to see the Vet. Posted Image
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#57 TinaHel

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Posted 03 August 2011 - 11:01 AM

All those Aiel jokes are great!!!

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#58 Matt al'Rends

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Posted 11 August 2011 - 01:51 PM

A Wetlander walked into a spear
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#59 Aiel Heart

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Posted 11 August 2011 - 06:19 PM

This is HALARIOUS!!!! It's Mat's inbox

http://twitpic.com/3qvbxp


Kate, I love the footprints one!!!

Edited by Aiel Heart, 11 August 2011 - 06:22 PM.

ChiliFestival.gif

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#60 ROB_88

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Posted 11 August 2011 - 11:16 PM

that was awesome, someone needs to make one for Perrin
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