Hornsounder Holidays Edition: November 2007

[Mystica]

 

Welcome to this month's edition of the Hornsounder!

 

Welcome Readers, to the new Holiday edition of the Hornsounder.

 

Most of you have already started your preparations, if not in actuality then at least in mind, for the upcoming holidays and we at the Hornsounder are no different in that. Therefore your Hornsounder of November ànd December will be centered around the Holidays with quite a few interesting and fun projects in which DM'ers from all Orgs can and have participated in.

 

In this month's Edition you can endulge yourself with special Holiday Recipes, read up on people's Holiday Traditions and learn how to make some very neat low budget Holiday decorations (always a good thing for the tight budgets of students and hard working parents of hopeful kids).

 

The Hornsounder wouldn't be the Hornsounder though if it were to forget about it's core business, which is to bring you the news of the Band of the Red Hand and the updates on the other Orgs as you have grown accustomed to over the months.

 

So put up your feet, get that mouse under controle and enjoy this month's edition of your newspaper.

 

Mystica,

Editor in Chief

 

 

 

JoTS Winner of the Month

 

This month's topic was: Red Arms, Corruption and Law Enforcement?

And the winner: Steel Axe of the Cavalry!

 

Congratulations, Steel!!  :)

 

The winning JoTS:

 

Redarms Will Make You Pay

 

If while drinking, you spill a brew or nine

And instead of ordering more, you steal mine

Then you better expect to get a hefty spotfine

For you will dance with Jak O'the Shadows

 

Maybe you'll be writing backwards for a day

Or writing some verses praising our XO Tay

Whatever it is, the redarms will make you pay

And you'll dance with Jak O'the Shadows

 

 

 

November's Headlines!

 

As our regular readers have come to know, the Hornsounder is divided into Sections, each handling a part of the newspaper and housing specific topics. I give you now a summary of what you can find in each Section.

You may find your interested parts quickly by scrolling to the Sections, which are clearly marked by their own Header as the one you see here on top. Subsections within can be recognised by their Blue color and therefore equally easy to recognise. To help you find your field of interest even faster, in the Headlines below you will find the page on which each Section is located.

 

A special Holiday Section is added to this month's edition in which various Readers offer you a glimps into what makes the Holidays so special for them.

 

In the Editorial Section (way at the end of the Hornsounder) you can find out everything about the Hornsounder itself. What it is, how it works, who the slaving mad people are that make sure you get your newspaper full of interesting stuff each month and how YOU can be a part of it all too.

 

The Band of the Red Hand Section brings you the Word from our Marshal-General, introduces the Band's current Active Members, provides the results of the Band's Lottery . Stefania is bringing us a summary of Banders' Music reviews and you get the opportunity to smooch away on our Banders' birthdays . 

 

The Regimental Section will effectively still your hunger for knowing what's been up with the Cavalry and Infantry this month. Check up on the antics of the Recruits while they visited every Regiment, whether a new Knight or Lady has been raised, if the Infantry gained a new Morat or maybe a new Blademaster even. Sadly this month, we are missing the Archers as their resident reporter was called away on some Real Life business. But we have good hopes to hear from them again next month. 

 

In the Raw Recruits Section, our Executive Officer, La Brain Rummager Extraordinaire herself, Blademaster Taymist will fill you in on the latest updates on our Recruits and present you with the Recruit of the Month.

 

In the Redarms Section our Redarm Leader fills you in on all the law breaking and spotfining activities that were found in the Band this month.

 

The Specials Sections bring you a nice little collection of Columns and stories that will make you sit up and scream for more. The Columns Section this month brings you the next piece of Kristine's Infantry Nights and a new story from Lady StefaniaSedai's Thoughts! Two Freelance Reporters have submitted quite interesting pieces this month.

 

Entertainment is the spice of Life! Or was it variety? Who cares... Get those braincells working and claim those prizes! Join in on the Competitions and see if you too can claim winner status in Corki's Great Hunt or are a wizard at Sudoku!

 

The free standing Games on the other hand, offer a nice warm up for those that need it or a fun way of passing the time in those dead hours between earning points for your promotions.

If you played the ones from last month and want to find out how well (or bad) you did, you'll find the correct answers here too.

Check out the Jokes ! Don't miss the forecast of Bridmorgan's Horoscopes now, for your future may depend on it!

 

Dragonmount, our home. Find out the latest news that was reported to Hornsounder about your ORG and those ORGs you don't know yet. Though it's been a silent month on the ORG side, we are pleased and excited to be able to offer you another update on the Tinkers and Emperor fills us in on What's up with those Forsaken?? 

 

Last but most definately not least: Wheel of Time Section! Read all about the topic of conversation, turmoil, and uproar from DM this month!

 

So there you have it folks. I hope you will enjoy this month's Edition of your Hornsounder thoroughly and if you have any ideas or suggestions that might make your Hornsounder Experience even more fun, don't hesitate to let us know.

 

Or maybe you too want to try your hand at being a reporter?

There's room in the Hornsounder for everyone, so don't let those doubting demons get the best of you. Jump right in and contact me through pm with any ideas for articles and/or projects you may have!

 

Until next month,

 

Mystica,

Editor in Chief

 

[Mystica]

 

 

SPECIAL HOLIDAY SECTION

(coordinated by Bridmorgan)

 

Welcome to a special section of the Hornsounder!  Here you will find a recap of the Halloween festivities at DM along with some great Holiday fun!  We have recipes from Banders, some great low budget, but beautiful holdiay decorations and different holiday traditions submitted by DM members.  We will be running another special edition of the Hornsounder next month with New Years ideas, and your submissions are more than welcome!  If you have a recipe, a decorating idea, a New Years tradition, we want to hear about it!  Just PM one of the people below.  Also, we are still running the Top 100 Holiday Tunes at DM!!  You have until 15 December to submit your favorites!

 

Recipes: Bridmorgan

Traditions: Arrandion

Decorations: Stefaniasedai

Holiday Wishes: Mystica

Corrupt a Tune: Bridmorgan

 

More information can be found at Hornsounder Holiday Project

 

Halloween 2007 Recap at DM

 

Orgs Halloween Activities

(by Arrandion)

 

During the last week of October all DM Orgs showed their interest in Halloween by doing several discussions, competitions and the most noticeable - siggy changes. Let's see in detail what they were up to.

 

Aiel Org had very interesting discussion about their favorite past and present Halloween costumes. Let's hear what they were wearing or their parents made them to wear.

 

Barmacral - I was a boxer in grade 3. Had the robe, the black eye, and I even borrowed boxing gloves from somebody my dad worked with. It was one of the only actual creative costumes in my entire class... nearly everyone else was a Power Ranger.

 

Taya - Let's see... nothing? Yeah, that'd be about right. Hehe. No I wasn't wearing NOTHING. It's just I never really dressed up.

Until I was 19...then I got really scary and Gothic *g* People still gave us food at that age too!

 

Aleita - Let me see.. I can't remember what my parents used to dress me in. I think that last was an angel.. I think that they were just hoping!

 

Ata - The ones I been to been student parties, I believe I been a witch and a vampire

 

Far Dareis Mai - I have two favorites. The first, I dressed up as Cousin It (from the Adam's Family). I had this large shag carpet full length, the top hat and sunglasses. It was awesome...until some kids thought it would be funny to egg me as I was trick or treating...  Embarrassed. My second favorite costume was when I was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz when I was 5. My aunt made me sparkling red shoes (before they were popular and are now sold en masse at stores ><), and I had the blue pinafore and everything. LOVED IT!

 

Calypsa - I've also gone as a wizard, a pumpkin (when I was very small), and also my dad and I dressed as a ghost together once when I was about 3 I was up on his shoulders, so there were two sets of eye holes.  I think that is probably my favorite. All of that said, I'm really not too fond of Halloween. It's a night for kids to dress up and to bask in pounds of candy, but that doesn't really do too much for me.  The commercialization of this rather interesting holiday is absurd. If we were to have children in an area where Halloween wasn't a big deal, that wouldn't break my heart in the slightest.

 

Faelene - My fav. costume that my parents dressed me as was a gypsy.  I didn't have pierced ears so my mom tied loop earrings to my ears with string. My hubby said that one year for Halloween, his mom dressed him as a werewolf, and tried to hot glue gun fur to his hands. Poor kid.

 

Gryphan_Crymsonstarr - I was a majorette when I was 6 years old. I had tasseled boots, baton and the fancy hat.

 

Leelou - When I was younger my mom dressed me up as a butterfly, a cat and a princess. Then when I was about 10 I decided I wanted to be Princess Leia so my grandmother made me a costume.

 

Sorandha - My least favorite costume, however, was when I was about 13 and I was the Grim Reaper. It had a "faceless" which was a piece of black fabric that I could see out of and no one could see in...and I couldn't breathe! I thought I was going to die after running around in that costume for an hour.

 

Vemynal - I can't decide between the Grim Reaper (Cool, Skeleton, Skeleton Jack (Nightmare before Christmas)), "Shade" (Black evil looking spirit thing), and being a Vampire.

 

As we can see, disciplined Aiels had a lot of fun when they were younger. :-)

 

The Black Tower Org also had adiscussion about costumes "What is everyone going to be for Halloween?" Answers were really funny.

 

Tigersfs - I'm going to be a Schizophrenia. So am I. Me too.

 

eclipse0 - My mother's a nurse.  Every year she dresses up as Annie Wilks from 'Misery', carrying around a plastic sledge hammer and a block of wood and calling everyone "Mr. Man".

 

Lady Blake - My costume for Halloween ... well I am a goth so I don't have to think about it.

 

You have to admit these folks have a wicked sense of humor.

 

The Seanchan Org changed their siggies, some of them were really awesome, but could we expect less from Dragonmount's entertainment Organization?

 

The Kin Org held "Realm of Entertainment that surrounds this holiday of Halloween!" - discussion lead by famous Professor Holly Wassaling, a visiting Lecturer for the Kin’s Halloween Interterm. The main topic was to determine what makes a Halloween story. Is it scary?  Is it filled with Horror?  Does it have to deal with evil?  Do the characters have to be supernatural or imaginary? Is it the presence of perceived evil? Suspense? The shocking surprises? The unexpected? Is it blood and guts and destruction? The other question the professor asked was "What story or movie or experience like a haunted house scared you so bad you screamed out loud and sent your popcorn flying?"

 

Let's hear what Kin members had to say:

 

F Horn of Valere - When I was little, the talking trees in Wizard of Oz freaked me out like no other.... The trees' voices were so rough and scary! And then they threw the apples at Dorothy... they were just mean, and I knew that they were out to get me! I would run out of the room and not come back in until my family told me it was safe.

 

Taymist - Stephen King's "It" is the scariest film I've ever watched. Lips sealed Clowns now give me the heebie jeebies *shudders*. I think it was the fact that Tim Currie was so excellent in the role, he was truly creepy as a clown. Also, seeing a huge red smile on a face with such evil eyes and knowing the face under the make up is NOT smiling... that was just freaky.

 

Faerielin - I remember being 4 and watching WoO. I was left all alone in the living room and when the Wicked Witch appeared, I couldn't stay in the room alone anymore. I had to find my mommy to come watch the rest of it with me. She was terrible, and I was scared of her. Seeing her in her castle (is that where she lived?) threatening everyone and stuff made me cry. I don't think I had nightmares about it, but I just didn't want to be alone while she was on the screen, even though I knew Dorothy would "melt" her before it was done.

 

Twinflower - What terrifies me is when the movie or story messes with my mind.  The Shining terrifies me..as does Silence of the Lambs!  The other ones that do are like The Omen, or Ninth Gate..the tales that deal with evil. I believe evil is a real presence in the world..and insidious, not easily identified..

 

The next question was "What is scarier..the visuals or the psychological?"

 

Let's take a look at Kin members opinions:

 

U4ea - psychological is definitely scarier. My imagination can do SOOO much more than the graphics department can do. Hollywood seems to know that, too...

 

Faerielin - Freddy Kruger is so ridiculous that I don't fear him, even if I cringe at the gore.

But if you ever see Ed Gein the mostly true movie about the man that inspired The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Silence of the Lambs and Psycho and a number of others... He's real, and he's creepy, and when the story is put in the correct context, I hope I never meet someone like him.

 

Taymist - Psychological for me too. Silence of the Lambs is a perfect example and The Omen too *nods*. Candyman is another, not so much violence or gore but just seriously creepy.

 

F Horn of Valere - Psychological is far more effective.For example... I hate the Saw movies, but not because of any horror or suspense... I hate them because of the blood and guts, but I am not scared of them one bit. When I see a movie labeled as a horror movie, usually I am only cringing at the unnecessary and unrealistic (in that they tried too hard to be realistic and went over the edge) bloody graphics, not at the horror that is supposed to come with it.

 

Samuraiflip05 - Well in the early film horror movies it was all about perception.  The movie would give you just enough to MAKE you form your own thoughts, and quite honestly the human psyche is far worse than anything reality can throw at you.  As time went on people became accustomed to this and new methods, blood & guts, and startlers, were used (Lean towards visual).  Very common in the movies from the late 70's to early 80's.  People again became accustomed, and the ante was raised, until we had movies that were nothing but blood and guts, and movies where everything jumped out at you (remembder 3-D). The blood and guts are here to stay, but the startle formula has been altered.  Now there are build ups that lead to nothing and nothings that have sudden action.  We are getting back to a form of psychological horror these days as everyone has seen blood and guts.  Now it hangs a lot on reality or possible reality.  Movies like Wrong Turn, Joy Ride, Saw, and Hostel, take possibility (however improbable) and make it a reality.

 

That was in our opinion a very good discussion.

 

The Band Of The Red Hand Org after voting selected "Mythological Creatures" as a main theme during Halloween week. Siggy-making Banders made new siggies for all and creatures like Vampires, Werewolfes, Unicorns, Dragons, Eagles, Phoenixes and even Cerberus, were put in Sigges. Apart from siggy changes they organized two competitions as well:

 

Halloween Week Scary Story Competition where everyone could submit one story as long as the story deals with Mythological creatures. Only one story "Eternal Service" by Arrandion was submitted and automatically become a winner.

 

The second competition was Halloween Week Coloring Contest. Several black and white pictures were presented. The task was to color them using primary colors. The winning picture was painted by Taymist, the Mistress of Markers, the Princess of Paints, the Countess of Crayons. ;-)

 

You can check them out on Band Org forum.

 

More Halloween Activities

(by Talya)

 

Illuminators Org

 

The Illuminators used the creativity of Dread Pirate Roberts to celebrate Halloween. He created a new game, loosely based on the Mafia game. This one involved Vampires and the first game played was over before Halloween, so with some tweaking and a few alterations the next was well under way. This time the Vampires, in true Halloween style, won the second game. It was great to see people from all over DM taking part in this.

 

Ogiers Org

 

They chose a sig showing demons and devils for their Halloween week. Being book lovers it was no surprising to find them discussing books, films and TV that scared them and ones that they also enjoyed. The list ranged from War of the Worlds, to Stephen King, to Psycho. And in true style they threw a Halloween party with plenty of food and Ale flowing, a good way to celebrate the day.

 

The White Tower Org

 

The white tower decided to celebrate this Holiday by having some sigs made. The theme for the Tower was to be Evil people from Movies, Books or TV. I’m sure a lot of these were seen around DM over the week of Halloween. Who could miss the Warders, who had Sith Lords, I didn’t know Star Wars had that many! Those that weren’t affiliated to any Ajah were given James Bond villains. Below is a list of the Ajahs and their choice for the week.

 

Blue Ajah – Harry Potter Villains

Brown Ajah – Literary Villains

Gray Ajah – Villains from Musicals

Green Ajah – Disney Villains

Red Ajah – Vampires

White Ajah – Villains from Hollywood

Yellow Ajah – WoT villains

 

The Wolfkin Org

 

The wolfkin unsurprisingly decided on choosing the Werewolf for their sig theme. There was also a fancy dress party, where there were ghost, witches, cats and Vamps abound.

There was a first and last game, where the last letter is to be used as the first letter of the next word. This of course had to have a Halloween theme.

[Mystica]

Holiday Recipes

(coordinated by Bridmorgan)

 

Here you will find recipes submitted by Banders for the Holidays.  We've got recipes for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and Yule!  My mouth was watering just reading them!  If you try one, why not let us know how it turned out?  Enjoy!

 

Neiman Marcus Cookies

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients

1 cup butter

2 cups flour

1 tsp. baking soda

1 cup sugar

2 1/2 cup blended oatmeal (blend in a food processor to fine powder)

12 oz. chocolate chips

1 cup brown sugar

1/2 tsp. salt

4 oz. grated hershey bar (1/2 large candy bar)

2 eggs

1 tsp. baking powder

1 1/2 cups chopped nuts (your choice)

1 tsp. vanilla

 

Cooking Instructions

Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and baking soda. Add chocolate chips, hershey bar, and nuts. Roll into balls. Place 2 inches apart on a cookie sheet.

 

Bake 10 minutes at 375.

 

Mulled Wine

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients

2 cups water

1/2 cup sugar

4 cinnamon sticks

6 whole cloves

1 fresh whole nutmeg

2 oranges, thinly sliced

1 bottle red wine

 

Cooking instructions:

Combine 2 cups of water with the sugar and spices in a saucepan and bring to a boil. Boil for 5 minutes. Add the orange slices, remove pan from the heat and let sit for 15 minutes. Stir in the wine. Reheat gently over low heat, never allowing to boil. Serve hot, in heated glasses

 

Mulled Cider

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

2 quarts apple cider

2 cinnamon sticks

2 whole allspice berries

2 whole cloves

1 orange, thinly sliced

 

Instructions:

Place all ingredients in a large saucepan and bring to a simmer on the grates of the grill or over a burner. Divide among individual mugs and serve hot.

 

Plum Pudding

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

1 cup flour

1/2 teasthingy each salt, baking soda, nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, and allspice

1 cup soft bread crumbs

1 cup chopped suet

1 cup prune pulp

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 cup uncooked chopped prunes

1/4 cup candied lemon peel, finely chopped

1/4 cup molasses

3 eggs, separated

Hard Sauce, recipe follows

 

Instructions:

Sift together the flour, salt, baking soda and spices. Mix together the rest of the ingredients, except the egg whites, adding just the yolks. Whip the egg whites until stiff and fold into the batter. Grease a pudding mold dredged with sugar and pour in batter. Cover the mold with its lid or cover tightly with foil. Steam for 3 to 4 hours, depending on the size of your mold. Serve hot with hard sauce. If you are not serving the pudding immediately, store in the refrigerator soaking in 1 ounce of brandy. Add 1 ounce each week.

Serve with warmed Hard Sauce.

 

Hard sauce:

1/4 cup butter

1 cup powdered sugar

1 tablesthingy dark rum

1/2 teasthingy vanilla extract

 

Cream the butter in an electric mixer until pale in color. Add the sugar and mix well. Add the flavorings and mix in then adjust, to taste.

 

Roast Prime Rib of Beef with Horseradish Crust

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Instructions:

1 (3-rib) prime rib beef roast, about 6 pounds

5 garlic cloves, smashed

1/4 cup prepared horseradish

Needles from 2 fresh rosemary sprigs

Leaves from 4 fresh thyme sprigs

1/2 cup sea salt

1/4 cup freshly ground black pepper

1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

2 carrots, cut in chunks

2 parsnips

1 red onions, halved

1 head garlic, halved

 

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Lay the beef in a large roasting pan with the bone side down. (The ribs act as a natural roasting rack.)

In a small bowl mash together the garlic, horseradish, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper, and olive oil to make a paste. Massage the paste generously over the entire roast. Scatter the vegetables around the meat and drizzle them with a 2-count of oil. Put the pan in the oven and roast the beef for about 1 1/2 to 2 hours for medium-rare (or approximately 20 minutes per pound). Check the internal temperature of the roast in several places with an instant-read thermometer; it should register 125 degrees F. for medium-rare. Remove the beef to a carving board and let it rest for 20 minutes. The internal temperature of the meat will continue to rise by about 10 degrees. Remove the vegetables and set aside. Pour the pan juices into a fat separator or small bowl and set aside to allow the fat and beef juices to separate. Pour off and discard the fat.

 

Velvety Mashed Potatoes

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

1 cup heavy cream

4 tablesthingys unsalted butter

3 large Yukon gold potatoes, peeled

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

1/4 cup olive oil, optional

2 tablesthingys chopped chives, for garnish

 

Instructions:

Warm the cream with the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat until the butter melts; set aside.

Put the potatoes in a medium saucepan with cold water to cover. Bring to boil then add 1 teasthingy of salt and reduce the heat and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, until the potatoes are very tender. Drain. Pass the potatoes through a food mill or a ricer into a large mixing bowl. Stir in the warm cream and butter mixture until the cream is absorbed and the mixture is smooth. Season the potatoes with salt and pepper and finish them off by stirring in 1/4 cup olive oil. Top with chopped chives.

 

Barley Broth

(submitted by Taymist)

 

Serves 6

 

Ingredients:

1 neck of mutton

1 cup diced carrot

8 oz. barley

1 cup diced turnips

1/2 cup dried peas

2 leeks, chopped

3 pints (approximately) water

2 stalks of celery

chopped parsley

salt and pepper

 

Instructions:

Soak peas overnight. Wash the neck of mutton and the barley. Put in a saucepan and cover with water. Add salt and pepper. Bring to the boil and simmer, covered, for 1 1/2 hours. Add all the vegetables and cook for another hour, adding more water if required. Add chopped parsley about 10 minutes or so before broth is ready.

 

Christmas Bannock

(submitted by Taymist)

 

Makes 64 cookies

 

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups flour

1/4 teasthingy salt

3/8 cup confectioners' sugar

1/3 cup finely minced candied fruit

1/4 cup finely minced toasted almonds

3/4 cup unsalted butter, cut into pieces and slightly softened

1 1/2 tablesthingys granulated sugar

 

Instructions:

 

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

 

To prepare by hand: On a cool work surface, combine flour, salt and sugar; stir to blend. Add fruit and almonds, tossing to coat fruit with flour mixture. Cut in butter with pastry blender or 2 knives until mixture resembles fine crumbs.

 

To prepare in a food processor: In work bowl of food processor, combine flour, salt and confectioners' sugar. Pulse briefly until just blended. Add fruit, almonds and butter. Pulse several times until mixture resembles fine crumbs.

 

Press dough into 8-inch-square baking pan; sprinkle with granulated sugar. Bake until lightly browned (about 30 minutes). Immediately cut into 1-inch squares. Leave in pan 10 minutes, then place cubes on wire rack to cool.

 

Clansman's Coffee

(submitted by Taymist)

 

Ingredients:

1 measure of Whisky

Dash of Sambucca

Black Coffee

Whipped Cream

 

Instructions:

Wipe the rim of a goblet with a piece of lemon and dip it in brown sugar. Pour the spirits and coffee into the glass, add sugar to taste and float the whipped cream on top. Decorate with grated chocolate.

 

Apple Pie '63

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

Caramel Sauce

28 caramels, unwrapped

1/2 cup half-and-half or evaporated milk

Crust

2 1/2 cups Pillsbury BEST® All Purpose, Unbleached or Self Rising Flour*

1/4 cup sugar

1 1/2 teasthingys salt

1/2 cup margarine or butter

1/4 cup oil

1/4 cup water

1 egg, beaten

Apple Filling

6 cups sliced peeled apples (about 6 medium)

1 cup sugar

1/3 cup Pillsbury BEST® All Purpose or Unbleached Flour

1 to 2 teasthingys grated lemon peel

2 tablesthingys lemon juice

Topping

1 (8-oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened

1/3 cup sugar

1 egg

1/3 cup chopped nuts

 

Instructions:

1. Heat oven to 375°F. In small saucepan, combine caramels and half-and-half; cook over low heat, stirring occasionally, until caramels are melted. Keep warm.

2. Lightly sthingy flour into measuring cup; level off. In large bowl, combine 2 1/2 cups flour, 1/4 cup sugar and salt. With pastry blender or fork, cut in margarine until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add oil, water and egg; mix well. Press crust mixture evenly in bottom and up sides of ungreased 15x10x1-inch baking pan.

3. In large bowl, combine all apple filling ingredients; toss lightly. Sthingy into crust-lined pan. Drizzle warm caramel sauce over apples. 

4. In small bowl, combine all topping ingredients except nuts; beat until smooth. Sthingy over apples, spreading slightly. Sprinkle with nuts.

5. Bake at 375°F. for 35 to 45 minutes or until light golden brown. Cool. Cut into squares. Store in refrigerator.

 

Glazed Pecans

(submitted by Lady Stefania)

 

Ingredients:

1 egg white

1 cup sugar

2 TBS cinnamon

1 lb pecans

 

Instructions:

In a large bowl, beat one egg white until fluffy. Add pecans and stir until completely coated. In seperate bowl, blend sugar and cinnamon. Pour this mixture onto pecans and toss to coat. Pour pecans in a single layer onto a 13x9 cookie sheet. Bake at 325 for one hour, turning them half way through.

 

Peanut Butter Balls

(submitted by Lady Stefania)

 

Ingredients:

1/2 cup butter, softened

1 box powdered sugar

1 cup peanut butter

3/4 cup graham cracker crumbs

1 tsp vanilla

1 bag chocolate chips

1/4 block paraffin

 

Instructions:

Blend first five ingredients in large bowl. Roll the mixture into walnut-sized balls and place on wax paper covered cookie sheet. Freeze for at least one hour. Meanwhile, over double boiler, melt the paraffin. Stir in chocolate chips until melted. Use tooth picks to dip frozen peanut butter balls into the chocolate and return to wax paper.

 

Easy Cheese Ball

(submitted by Lady Stefania)

 

Ingredients:

2 packages cream cheese

1 packet Ranch dressing mix

slivered almonds

 

Instructions:

Allow the cream cheese packages to soften at room tempereature. Blend in Ranch dressing mix. Using hands, shape into large ball. Roll the ball in almond slivers until covered. Serve with crackers.

 

Potato Latkes

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

8 medium potatoes, peeled

1 medium onion

Lemon juice

1 cup flour

1 cup milk

1 egg

1 tablesthingy baking powder

1/8 cup melted butter

Freshly grated nutmeg

Salt and pepper to taste

Watercress, to garnish

Caviar, to garnish

Applesauce, for garnish

Creme fraiche, for garnish

 

Instructions:

Grate potatoes and onions on a large-hole grater. Splash with lemon juice and squeeze out excess water.

Mix flour, milk, egg, baking powder, and nutmeg. Add to the potatoes and then add the melted butter.

Heat some peanut oil in a skillet and fry until golden on one side. Flip, and cook the same way on the other.

Serve with watercress, caviar, applesauce, and creme fraiche.

**For Passover, omit the baking powder and replace the flour with matzo (ground into flour), which will make a slightly denser latke. Fry it slowly.

 

 

[Mystica]

Brisket

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

2 tablesthingys vegetable oil

1 (3 1/2 pound) first-cut brisket, with "fat cap" (do not trim)

3 tablesthingys sweet paprika

1 tablesthingy kosher salt, plus for brisket

Freshly ground black pepper

6 medium yellow onions, cut into thin wedges with root end attached

1 1/2 cups sweet vermouth

4 cups low-sodium chicken broth

8 medium carrots, peeled, and cut into thirds (14 ounces)

 

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

Heat the oil a large, heavy bottomed Dutch oven over medium-high heat until beginning to smoke. Season the brisket generously with the paprika, salt, and pepper. Place fat side down in the Dutch oven and cook until brown on all sides, about 8 to10 minutes. Transfer the meat to a plate and set aside.

 

Discard about half the fat, then add the onions and cook over medium heat until browned and tender, about 10 minutes. Pour in the vermouth and cook until reduced by about half. Nestle the brisket into the onions fat side up, add the broth; bring to a simmer and bake, covered, until the brisket is fork tender, about 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Uncover, scatter the carrots around the brisket and cook until the carrots are tender, about 30 minutes more.

 

Transfer the brisket to a cutting board, cut the fat off the top and thinly slice the meat across the grain. Return the meat to the braising liquid and serve immediately or, cool to room temperature in the sauce, cover and refrigerate overnight. When ready to serve reheat in the sauce.

 

Sweet Potato Latkes

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

1/2 medium yellow onion

1/2 pound Yukon gold potato, (about 1 large)

1/2 pound sweet potato, (about 1 medium)

2 tablesthingys all-purpose flour

1 teasthingy kosher salt

Pinch cayenne

1 large egg, lightly beaten

Vegetable oil

4 teasthingys light sour cream

4 teasthingys beet or regular horseradish

2 to 3 sprigs flat-leaf parsley

 

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 200 degrees F. Put a wire rack on a baking sheet and place in the oven.

Grate the onion on a box grater into a large bowl. Grate both potatoes into the same bowl, grating down the length of the potato to get long strands. Toss the potatoes with the onions as you work to keep them from discoloring. Put potato mixture in a clean dish towel and wring out excess liquid. Toss the latke mixture with the flour, salt, and cayenne. Stir in the egg.

 

Heat a 1/4-inch oil in a large cast iron or other heavy skillet over medium heat. Working in batches, sthingy about 1/4 cup of the latke mixture into the skillet, pressing lightly to form 3-inch pancakes. Take care not to overcrowd the pan. Cook, turning once, until just golden, about 2 minutes per side. Transfer to the rack in the oven while you cook the remaining batter.

 

Serve the latkes topped with a small dollop of sour cream and horseradish. Garnish with a parsley leaf. Serve immediately.

 

Tunesian Marinated Flank Steak

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

1 cup onion, finely chopped

1 tablesthingy chopped garlic

1/2 cup olive oil

1/2 cup lemon juice

2 tablesthingys soy sauce

1 tablesthingy dry sherry

1/4 cup fresh oregano

2 teasthingys hot sauce

1 teasthingy tumeric

1 teasthingy dried marjoram

Salt and pepper

1 (2-pound) flank steak

 

Instructions:

Set a jumbo zip lock bag in a large glass measuring cup. Combine all the ingredients in the plastic bag. Score the flank steak and place in the bag. Seal the bag and chill. Marinate at least 20 minutes and up to overnight.

Heat a grill or grill pan. Remove the flank steak from the bag and pat dry. Grill 4 to 5 minutes per side. Let rest 5 to 10 minutes before carving.

 

North African Lamb Kebabs

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups finely chopped onion

1 tablesthingy lemon zest

1/4 cup fresh lemon juice

1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley leaves

1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro leaves

3 tablesthingys chopped fresh mint leaves

2 teasthingys salt

1 teasthingy ground cumin

1 teasthingy paprika

1 teasthingy freshly ground black pepper

1/4 cup olive oil

2 to 2 1/2 pounds boneless leg or shoulder of lamb, cut into 1-inch cubes with some of the fat attached

6 warm pita breads, for serving

Yogurt Dipping Sauce, recipe follows

 

Instructions:

In a large bowl, combine the onion, lemon zest, lemon juice, parsley, cilantro, mint, salt, cumin, paprika, pepper, and olive oil. Add the lamb to the marinade and toss to coat. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2 to 4 hours.

Soak 8 to 10 bamboo skewers in warm water for about 1 hour before assembling the kabobs.

 

Preheat the grill to high, and lightly oil the grill grates to prevent sticking. Thread the lamb onto the soaked skewers and place on the grill, turning to evenly cook, about 12 to 14 minutes.

 

Drizzle the pitas with sauce, then wrap the pita around the meat on the skewer, fold over and twist the skewer off the meat. Serve.

 

 

Yogurt Dipping Sauce:

1/2 cup plain yogurt

1/2 cup sour cream

1 tablesthingy fresh lemon juice, or more to taste

1 tablesthingy chopped fresh mint leaves

1 tablesthingy chopped fresh dill

Combine all ingredients in a small bowl. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

 

Yassa Chicken

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

1 (3 to 3 1/2 pound) chicken, cut into 8 pieces

1 1/2 cups thinly sliced onions

6 cloves garlic, halved

1 cup thinly sliced celery (2 ribs)

1 cup thinly sliced carrots (2 small)

2 limes zested and juiced

1 fresh hot chile pepper (Scotch bonnet or habanero), quartered

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 tablesthingys vegetable oil

1 quart chicken stock

Garnish and accompaniment:

2 cups julienned carrots, blanched

2 cups julienned leeks, blanched

1/2 cup water

1 tablesthingy butter

Serving Suggestions:

Cooked enriched rice, as an accompaniment

Sauteed Greens, as an accompaniment

 

Instructions:

Marinate chicken for 3 to 5 hours in onions, garlic, celery, carrots, lime juice, and hot pepper. Strain, remove chicken and pat dry. Reserve vegetables. Season chicken with salt and pepper and brown in Dutch oven in 2 tablesthingys vegetable oil. Remove chicken, and pour off excess fat.

Deglaze pan with chicken stock and add chicken, and marinated vegetables. Allow to cook, covered, over medium heat until chicken is tender, about 15 to 20 minutes.

Remove chicken and reserve in warm place (oven preheated to 250 degrees). Strain sauce through china cap or sieve. Season the sauce with lime zest, salt, and pepper. Warm the chicken in sauce. Warm the blanched carrots and leeks in 1/2 cup water and 1 tablesthingy butter, plus salt and pepper. Serve the chicken with enriched rice and greens, and garnished with the blanched vegetables

 

Collard Greens with Smoked Turkey Wings

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

2 white onions, diced

6 cloves garlic, minced

1 1/2 tablesthingys vegetable oil

1 smoked turkey wing

2 cups chicken stock

5 pounds collard greens, cleaned and stems removed

Salt and pepper

1 teasthingy crushed red pepper

1/4 cider vinegar

 

Instructions:

Saute onions and garlic in oil until soft and add turkey wing. Add chicken stock and chopped or torn greens. As greens cook down, add water as needed and season with salt, pepper and crushed red pepper. Cook until tender, about 45 minutes. Serve with vinegar on the side.

 

Yuletide Slaw

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

4 cups red cabbage, shredded

1/4 cup lemon juice

1/2 teasthingy black pepper, corse ground

1 teasthingy salt

1/2 cup green onions, chopped

2 teasthingys sugar

1/4 cup salad oil

2 tablesthingys parsley

1 green bell pepper, chopped

 

Instructions:

Combine and toss the vegetables together. Mix salt, pepper, salad oil, lemon juice, sugar and parsley and pour over the vegetable mixture. Refrigerate for 1 hour, Toss briskly before serving. Makes 8 servings.

 

Bûche de Noël (Yule Log Cake)

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

 

Generous 3/4 cup flour

Scant 3/4 cup superfine sugar

4 eggs, separated

1 teasthingy almond extract

10 ounces semi-sweet chocolate, broken into squares

1 cup heavy cream

2 tablesthingys rum

Confectioner's sugar for dusting

 

Instructions:

 

Preheat the oven to 375º F. Line (with foil or baking parchment) a 16 x 11 jelly roll pan. Grease and flour the lining. If you don't have a jelly roll pan use a large cookie sheet, but it won't come out right if it's not approximately those measurements.

Set aside 2 tablesthingys of the allotted sugar, then whisk the remainder in with the egg yolks until thick and pale. Stir in the extract. Whisk the egg whites until soft peaks form. Whisk the rest of the sugar into the egg whites until it is stiff. Sift 1/2 of the allotted flour over the yolk mix, then add 1/4 of the egg white mix and mix together. Put in the rest of the flour and start folding it in with your hands or a plastic spatula. Then finally put in the rest of the whites and mix it in. Spread this mix out evenly on the jelly roll pan and bake for about 15 minutes.

 

Sprinkle some sugar onto a sheet of wax paper and flip the cake over onto it. Roll it up (so that it is shorter and thicker rather than longer and skinnier) with the wax paper in it, and let it cool. In the mean time you can make the filling.

 

Boil the cream and pour over the chocolate in a heat-proof bowl to let it melt. Beat this mixture with a mixer until it's thick. Take a third of the mix out and set it aside, then stir the rum into the larger portion. If it is really runny and too liquid, you might consider chilling it an hour or so until it's spreadable. When ready, unroll the cooled cake and spread the chocolate rum mix onto it evenly. Re-roll it--no wax paper in between layers this time--and now you're ready for ornamentation.

 

If you desire--though this isn't necessary--slice off a little piece of the end at a slant and then stick it to the side like an off-growing branch. Whether or not you do this, the next step is to frost using the set-aside cream-chocolate mix. Spread it all over the top and sides so that it is completely covered except for the ends that look like the inside of a cut-down tree. Drag a fork across the surface carefully so that it ends up resembling tree bark. When it's set, sprinkle some powdered sugar on top like snow. Put on a plate and if you like garnish it with cookies, candy coins, or seasonal decorations

 

Yule Moon Cookies

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

1 cup butter

1 1/4 cup sugar

2 tsp. grated lemon peel

1/4 tsp. salt

1 1/3 cup. flour

1 1/2 cups grated almonds (blanched)

1 tsp. vanilla

 

Icing:

2 cups sifted confectioner's sugar

1 tsp. vanilla

2 1/2 T. water

 

Instructions:

Cream together butter and sugar until fluffy and light. Add grated lemon peel, salt, flour, grated almonds, and 1 tsp. vanilla; mix thoroughly. Place dough in bowl. Cover and chill thoroughly. When dough is well chilled; or next day, roll out dough to 1/8" thickness and cut with moon/crescent cookie cutter. Place 1/2" apart on ungreased baking sheet. Bake in preheated 375 degree oven for 8 to 10 minutes.

Icing:

While cookies bake, combine confectioner's sugar, vanilla and water. Spread over tops of cookies while still warm, but not too hot as icing will melt. Thin with additional drops of water if glaze is too thick.

Allow cookies to cool. Yield: 10 dozen cookies

 

Orange-Cranberry Chicken With Sweet Potatoes

(submitted by Bridmorgan)

 

Ingredients:

1 Orange

1 4lb.Roasting Chicken

1/2 teasthingy Pepper

1 pound Sweet Potatoes

1 Tablesthingy Olive Oil

1 cup Chicken Broth

1 cup Whole berry Cranberry Sauce

2 Tablesthingys White Wine Vinegar

 

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 375%.Grate rind from orange(don't include the bitter white part).Rinse chicken & pat dry.Sprinkle with salt,pepper & 1/2 the grated orange rind.Place,breast side up,on a rack in large roasting pan.Roast for 30 minutes.Meanwhile pare & cut the sweet potatoes into 1 inch slices,then toss with Olive oil.Place in single layer in the bottom of roasting pan.Continue roasting 1 hour & 45 minutes,turning potatoes occasionally & basting chicken & potatoes frequently,until the chicken juices run clear when the thickest part of the thigh is pierced with fork & leg moves freely. During the last 1/2 hour of roasting,combine Chicken broth,cranberry sauce & vinegar in a small saucepan.Bring to boiling over med.heat;boil 20 min. or until reduced to 1 1/2 cups.Peel white pith from orange,seed flesh & chop.Stir remaining rind & chopped orange into saucepan;simmer 5 min. Let Chicken rest for 20 minutes before carving.Cut chicken in half lengthwise down the middle.Sthingy Cranberry Sauce mixture over chicken & serve with Sweet Potatoes.

[Mystica]

Fabulous, Low-Budget Decorations

(coordinated by Lady Stefania)

 

Well, it's that time of year again! Time for stocking hanging, hall decking, and tree trimming! Time to dust off the old wreath, untangle the lights, and hope that your other decorations survived 11 months in storage! And just in case your yuletide adornments leave you feeling more Scrooge than St. Nick, here are a few ideas to embellish your abode that won't make you break the bank!

 

Festive Holiday Centerpieces

(submitted by Twinnie)

 

So you want to set a pretty table for the Holiday company...

 

A plain white tablecloth...this can be a few yards of fabric from the store..many have cloth for a dollar a yard!  Then set your table with the dishes and to fancy it up...sprinkle confetti down the center and around the place settings, also small lenghts of loosly curled curling ribbon causually scattered around looks pretty!

 

Centerpieces can be outrageously expensive..so make one!  Imagination if really the only limit to what can be done!  Decide on what you have already, and if you can spend any money! One of my favorties is to use three pillar candles..pillars because you don't neccessarily need to have candle holders..you can put a paper plate or saucer under them!  Space the candles evenly or group them together..then head out to yard!  Leaves, pinecones, bits of evergreen, nuts can all be arranged around the candles for a natural look!

 

If candles arn't your thing...try using fruit!  A bowl of fruit is lovely and inviting and edible!

 

A litttle "fancy'  I like to do..is to make Christmas Crackers to put on each guests plate!  Think they are an English tradition..but are fun and easy to make.  Using a toilet paper tube...or the tubes from wrapping paper cut down to about three inches in length, you fill the tubes with small toys..like a kazoo, or tops etc.  Pieces of candy..I always like to put in an after dinner mint, and have found that miniture ornaments fit well too.  All items that can be found at the dollar stores...usually in packages of multiples.  Then wrap the tube in either christmas paper, or tissue paper with stickers or glitter on them, twist the ends and tie with curling ribbon and place in the center of the plates!

 

Christmas Tree Decoration

(submitted by Talya)

 

Here are some ideas for Christmas Tree decorations. All you need are a medallion Stamp of your choice, ink, spare white or coloured card and some pens.

 

Stamp out the image about 8 times (4 times for each side of the decoration). If you want you can do more.

 

 

Cut out the outlines you want. Normally this would be an outer layer and three layers cutting a smaller design each time. The pattern on the stamp will help you decide what you wish to cut.

Once they are cut you can the colour in the parts that will show when it is finished. I have used Sparkly gel pens, which can be found at any stationary store. Be careful if you are using coloured card as the gel pens may not show up well or come out as a different colour when dry.

 

 

Once you have finished build up the two sides by sticking the next size down on with foam pads. (This makes it 3D and gives some depth). You should end up with two halves.

 

 

Join them together with glue, adding the string or ribbons to hold it up with in between the backs of the two pieces. You then have your decoration.

 

 

If you have some fine glitters and clear drying glue you use this instead of the pens. It takes longer as you have to wait for the glue to dry. Here is one made with 5 layers on each side (10 altogether)

 

 

Fragrant Pomanders

(submitted by Blademaster Tay)

 

 

Perfect for: Table decorations, hanging from a Christmas tree, scenting drawers and wardrobes after Christmas.

 

You will need: Oranges, cloves, ribbon, some pins.

 

 

How To Make:

 

First take your ribbon and wrap around the circumference of the orange, fixing with a pin. If you like you can fold the ribbon at 90 degrees and wrap around again, to make a cross design. Contrasting green looks good!

 

Stick the pointed end of the cloves into the orange, making whatever pretty patterns you like. Carry on sticking cloves into the orange until you're happy with its appearance.

 

The finished pomanders make a fragrant table display. The more cloves you use, the more quickly the oranges will dry out and shrivel - you can then use them to scent wardrobes.

 

Rudolph Table Topper

(submitted by Lady Stefania)

 

 

 

 

This reindeer's nose isn't his only noteworthy feature. His antlers also make a festive display rack for hanging your Christmas ornaments.

 

CRAFT MATERIALS:

12- by 18-inch piece of brown craft foam 

Scissors 

64-ounce juice bottle with a red cap, emptied and rinsed 

Craft knife 

Sand 

Funnel 

2-inch Styrofoam ball 

3- by 2-inch scrap of black craft foam 

Craft glue (we used tacky glue) 

2 branched sticks (ours were about 2 feet tall) 

2 clothespins 

Holiday ornaments and ribbon 

 

Time needed: About 2 to 3 Hours

1. On the brown craft foam, draw 2 ears and a pear-shaped head, as shown. Draw 2 asterisks at the top of the head where the antlers will go and trace the bottle cap at the other end for the nose. Use scissors to cut out the head, ears, and nose hole, then cut the asterisks to make holes.

 

2. Mark 2 asterisks at the bottom of the bottle, about 4 inches apart, and cut those with a craft knife (a parent's job). Use the funnel to fill the bottle with sand.

 

3. Put the head shape onto the bottle by pushing the spout through the nose hole. For eyes, cut the Styrofoam ball in half with a craft knife (a parent's job). Cut 2 quarter-size circles from black craft foam and glue one on each of the Styrofoam pieces. To help the foam circles stick, turn over each eye and press down hard, flattening the rounded edge.

 

4. Screw the cap on and lay the bottle on its side. Glue the eyes in place. Next, line up the asterisk holes in the head with the ones in the bottle, then push the antler sticks through. Glue on the ears, using clothespins to hold them in place while they dry. To finish, decorate Rudolph's antlers with holiday ornaments tied on with ribbons.

 

Christmas Crackers

(submitted by Blademaster Tay)

 

You Will Need: Empty toilet roll tubes, tissue paper/crepe paper/left over wrapping paper, selection of small toys and sweets, curling ribbon, scissors, double sided sticky tape, last years Christmas Cards.

 

How To Make: Cut a piece of colourful paper big enough to go completely round the toilet roll and long enough to hang over the ends for twisting. Tape it along the edge to secure.

 

Twist one end then drop the toys/sweets in the open end before twisting that too. Secure both twisted ends with some curling ribbon to decorate.

 

Cut some small pictures from the old Christmas Cards, like a robin or a candle for instance, make them oval or square or even cut a zig zag edge round the picture then tape one onto the front of each cracker. Hey presto... cheap home made crackers to go on the Christmas Tree or decorate the dinner table.

[Mystica]

Holiday Traditions

(coordinated by Arrandion)

 

Dear DM-ers,

 

The Hornsounder Team is really happy that so many of you participated in the Hornsounder Holiday Traditions project. The traditions you sent vary from very private ones to quite common ones and all of them are really interesting. It is good to hear that personal and family traditions are still out there, passed from generation to generation, bringing people together, making the holiday period special and memorable. Thanks for sharing them with all of us! Regards, UL Arrandion

Here they come :

 

Mystica

 

here's what I do around Xmas :)

 

in the week between Xmas and New Year I drag my matrass from my bed into my living room, throw any cushion I can find on it, put big fluffy blankets on top, close down my cellphone and anything else that might disturb or otherwise interfere with the experience and lose myself in a non-stop marathon of the Lord of the Ring trilogy, extended edition.

 

This means:

- watching the three movies (each over 3,5 hours)

- watching the three movies with comments from the actors

- watching the three movies with comments from the technical department

- watching àll the extra's (and there are a LOT of them in the extended version)

 

This, of course, is accompanied with great snacks, dinners, breakfasts, fantastic glue wine and other drinks and basically ànything my tonsils desire during the whole experience.

 

Xmas = LoTR Marathon at Myst's place :)

 

*rubs hands* only a few more weeks to go and then we're off again!

 

YAY!!

 

Chaelca

 

Sinterklaas

 

Sinterklaas or Saint Nicolas is an old bearded man, clothed in red and travelling with a donkey. In the Netherlands, it seems he managed to get a big white horse but unfortunately for him, when he's in Belgium, it is the donkey he has to use to walk among the roofs. ;D

 

 

He always travels with "père fouettard" (in french) or the "zwarte piet" (in dutch) or in english the "black peter" who is his companion.

 

 

Sinterklaas is supposed to give present to the kind children : mostly it is toys but it can also be chocolates, cookies and mandarines. The ones who misbehaved are supposed to be whipped by the Black Peter or to receive rotten appels.

 

In order to get all the presents, the belgian children have to put their shoes near a window or the open fire if they are lucky enough to have one, the 5th of december in the evening. They also have to prepare a diner plate for Sinterklaas and the donkey (it also includes the beer for the old man !).

 

On the morning of the 6th, they'll discover the toys and the food and have to scream their " thank you Sinterklaas" so he can hear them.

 

Xmas

 

In Belgium, the xmas party starts on the 24th of decembre. All the family gathers to enjoy a nice meal. Usually, we eat turkey but not always. Presents are brought by everybody and placed under the xmas tree. It is only after the desert or (if the children can wait) at midnight, that the presents are opened. The desert is a whole tradition in itself. It is called the "bûche" in french and is in the shape of a wood log.

 

http://ddotb.files.wordpress.com/2006/12/buche_noelb.jpg[/img]

 

On the 25th, we usually go to the grand parents to have another nice meal and receive/offer some more presents. But the 25th has another tradition, we have a cougnou for breakfast. It is a kind of bread that is in the shape of a small child. It is suppose to represent the lil jesus and it is d*** good. ;D

 

 

Barmacral

 

As for a Christmas Tradition... every year before we go to bed on Christmas Eve (when we were little it happened while we were taking a bath, now its while we're at church) a couple of elves named Jingle and Jangle would come to the door, shake some bells (oddly, my parents never seemed to be able to catch them in time) and leave a package for myself and each of my siblings.

 

In that packages is a new pair of pajama's to wear to bed.

 

Minuet

 

My family has a tradition concerning New Years. My mom always said that if we were touching some silver when the new year was rung in we would not go without during the coming year. It was a tradition passed on by her grandmother who was of Jewish and German decent. She even taped a silver coin in my hand when I was an infant. The old US dimes use to be silver up until the early 1960's. So, that was what my mom used. I use to hold my grandmother's coin that was made the year she was born, since mine made in 1966 was not pure silver. So, every year I still hold the coin and think of my mom and all the other relatives I miss. I have passed it on to my son's and they hold coins that were made the year my mom was born. To me it isn't a superstition so much as a way to connect my children with a part of the family that they have never known. My mom died when I was only 3 months pregnant with my oldest child. This is a way to carry on her family tradition as well as connect with her in a special way.

 

Taymist

 

The only tradition we have for Christmas is to attend the Watch Night service at Church at midnight on Christmas Eve and when we get home, everyone has a mug of hot chocolate and is allowed to open just one present.

 

Other than that, traditions in Scotland tend to be stronger at Hogmanay (New Year), as it's a much bigger celebration here than Christmas.

 

The main one is the tradition of First Footing, to be the first visitor to step over someone's threshold in the new year. It's especially good luck if that person is male, tall, dark and handsome (not a doctor, minister or grave digger and NOT someone whose eyebrows meet in the middle. LOL!! True!!

 

First footers used to carry a lump of coal as a present, to be placed on the host's fire. Nowadays, it can be any gift. It's also traditional to offer everyone you see a wee dram... a small whisky.

 

Uasal Arach

 

We don't have much of a tradition for Thanksgiving except getting stuffed lol. But for Christmas this is what we do.

 

Christmas Eve:

The whole family will gather around, siblings, grandparents, and grandkids, the Christmas tree. As I am the oldest son, I open up the Bible to Luke chap. 2 and read the story of Christ's birth.

 

Then my dad will have all the grandkids sit around him and he reads "The Cajun Night Before Christmas" accent and all lol.

 

Finally each person is allowed to open ONE present.

 

Christmas Day:

Again the whole family is there. We have a big dinner and celebrate Christ's birth with a Carrot Cake.... don't know why that kind of cake but we've done it since I was a kid. The youngest grandkid, signifying Christ as a baby, gets to blow out the candles.

 

Each year someone different gets to be Santa. I usually takes about 30 min. for us adults to remember who did it last year, then it's total mayhem lol.

 

Twinnie

 

My husband and I have made it our tradition since our first year together to go look at Christmas lights! We always go out the Friday after Thanksgiving to take a look and then in the middle of December as well. So many people take the time to decorate and there are some amazing displays! We listen to Christmas Carols on the car stereo, usually have a Starbucks, and just drive around for several hours oohing and ahhhing!

 

I grew up with a strong Swedish heritage that influenced many of the traditions of my family and of my own Christmas's now! One of them is the Festival of Santa Lucia. This is a festival that celebrates an Italian martyr, that was reputed to have brought light and food into a famine ravaged Sweden. She appeared in a white gown, barefoot in the snow, wearing a wreath of Candles on her head. Santa Lucia is December 13th, and traditionally in Sweden it marked the beginning of Christmas festivities. By this day....all the preparations for the Holiday were complete so that the time from the 13th through Christmas Day could be spent visiting and celebrating! I still make every effort to have all my baking, shopping and decorating done by the 13th!

 

It wouldn't be Christams without baking! LOL! Some of my best memories are baking for Christmas with my Mom and Aunts! And i still bake lots for the holidays! Peppakakor, (a ginger cookie), Spritz, Pizzelles, Sugar Cookies, Oatmeal Cookies, Chocolate Chip, a fancy called Birch Logs dipped in white chocolate, a Swedish tea ring for Christmas morning, and of course Fudge, Peanut Brittle and most recently have tried my hand at making Truffles! The great part of the baking traditon was sharing all the results! We always made plates of the different cookies and my brothers and I would deliver them to neighbors, shutins from our church and friends!

 

Jaennaisais

 

For thanksgiving my family and I usually visit either my mom's grandparents (my grandparents) or my dad's mom and sister.  It usually switches every year and this year we will be staying in town and going over to my great grandparents for a thanksgiving dinner (my dad and I always pray for the turkey to be warm for once, lol).  I think this year it may change up a little and a few people will be coming over to our house for a small dinner the day after thanksgiving.

 

And now, for all the Christmas stuff.  We usually decorate the house around Thanksgiving.  We put up our nice tall Christmas tree and decorate it with the ornaments we have collected over many years.  Dad goes out onto the roof and puts an angel and a star on the house while inside we decorate the rest of the house with various christmasy looking things.  When Christmas Eve arrives, we all pick one gift to open that night and then we open the rest the next morning.  Once we have had breakfast and opened all our gifts at home, we go over to great grandma's for a lucnh (once again praying that'll be warm) and even more presents.  That night you will probably find us either at our house or my grandma's house next door for even more gifts and another dinner (hopefully made by my mom and not grandma, it makes a huge difference).  Around New Year's we disappear to Kansas to visit my best friend (my cousin) and the rest of my dad's family.  We often exchange very few gifs there because we are actually much more social there than we are with my mother's family (at least, I am).

 

I am not entirely aware of past traditions, but this is how I have been raised, and possibly very similar to how my children will be raised.

 

Lord Of The Dawn

 

1)the first is that every year, after presents, the Christmass Pickle is hung on the tree, then all of the kids go running to find it, who ever finds it first, gets the extra present.

 

2) the second is that everyne gathers into the familly room, were a sled is stacked up with a certain number of gifts, everyone then picks out one number out of a hat, begining from 1 to who ever is there. then in order,(from one and counting up the list)a present is picked and opened, and people end up switching gifts and such, and its a blast.

 

 

 

Thank you!

(by Bridmorgan, Holiday Projects coordinator)

 

Arrandion, Myst, Stefania and myself would like to thank everyone who submitted their recipes, decoration ideas and holiday traditions!  Without you, we wouldn't have had such a great Holiday Edition of the Hornsounder! 

 

Happy Holidays to everyone!!

 

[Mystica]

 

 

Word from the M-G

(by Corki)

 

Well, the nights are drawing in much quicker now as we fast approach the festive season (or lengthen should you be in the Southern Hemisphere!). What could be better than having your copy of The Hornsounder and a mug of nice warm cocoa (or an ice cold beer for our friends down south!)? You're all probably shouting out different things at this moment in time, but right now, it doesn't bother me! So, as always, a huge thank you to everyone who has got involved with The Hornsounder this month, whether submitting articles or the hard work that Myst and her team do behind the scenes. A huge 'thank you' to you guys, and long may the success continue.

 

As we draw near to the festive period, The Hornsounder is running a series of events to mark Christmas. Why not get involved, telling us about your festive traditions, your favourite holiday songs or one of the other projects that The Hornsounder is running!

 

While you are at it, why not grab a pen and paper and get involved with some of the competitions that appear in The Hornsounder!

 

Now, a quick run down of what has happened in the Band during the month of November:

 

- a handful of recruits have joined this month, but they have all been very active!

 

- October's Regimental Competition has finished, and the results will be up soon!

 

- many Banders signed up for the current Festival of Games as they try and win honour and glory for themselves and their Regiment! More information on the Games next month!

 

- applications for the new Executive Officer and Master of Gambling will soon be opened. A big thank you from everyone at the Band to F Horn of Valere for all his work during his time on Senior Staff

 

- the usually fun and games that can be expected in the Band!

 

Make sure that on December 1st, you all check out the forthcoming Band of the Red Hand Musical Advent Calendar! Watch out! ;)

 

Until next month, happy reading!

 

Why Join the BotRH?

 

So, having read some of the activities the Band gets up to, you want to know more about the ORG? One of the ORG's focus is music, and the Band's other focus is travel. Banders are regularly writing reviews about any music album they own, whether it be old or new, as well as any gigs and concerts they have been to and various locations around the world they've visited. Responses to these reviews are encouraged, which gives Banders points, and these points allow for promotion through the many ranks in the Band. This is the basis of the ORG.

 

When you first join up with the Band of the Red Hand, you become a Raw Recruit. During this time, you experience life with each of the three Regiment (Archers, Cavalry, Infantry) and the Band itself as well so you get to know how the ORG works, and you don't get lost in your early days in the Band. After your three weeks of completing various tasks as a Recruit, you then pick the Regiment you wish to join and thus become a fully fledged member of the Band of the Red Hand. Also, once you picked your Regiment, you will be guided to become an Infantry Blademaster or a Knight of the Cavalry or an Assassin within the Archers.

 

However, the Band is not all about work. We have many fun activities going on within the ORG, ranging from simple word games to our ORG Game, created by Canis Rufus with the help of Mallett. Everything is based on the luck of rolling dice, so build up your stats to give yourself the chance of getting better rolls! Once you've taken the seven easy lessons, you can then challenge any Bander to a duel in the Arena and bring great glories to your name! Look out for Festivals of Games as another way to bring glory to your name! We are the only ORG to gamble as well, so create a Bank Account and join in the Lottery to earn some big winnings just like Mat!

 

As you can see, the Band is a place with a variety of activities, hopefully catering for everyone's needs. There are various activities for those who want points to go up the ranks, or fun and games for those who want to socialise. The Band is open to everyone, so come and join the fun at the best ORG at DM!

 

Until next month, happy reading!

 

Corki,

Marshal-General BoTRH

 

[Mystica]

The Band's Lotto Winners - October

(by Bridmorgan)

 

October's lottery saw more treats than tricks with 3 winners in the twenties and 2 more in the high teens!  This has been the best month for winners so far!  I would also like to point out that the Lottery celebrated it's 1 year anniversary!  The first Lottery was on 19 November 2006!  Congrats to Corki for a fun, successful Lottery year!

 

October Lottery Winners

 

Mira/Froix - 26

Brid - 20

Tay - 20

Corki - 18

Manny - 16

Uasal - 8

Silver - 8

Kara - 4

KingKast - 4

Jea - 4

Stef - 4

 

 

Holiday Reviews

(By Lady Stefania)

 

One Bander had a holiday to share about this month. Lady Brid included some awesome pictures as she told us all about her trip to Northeast Illinois, USA, where she encountered a castle! She also visited Medieval Times for some pointers on her jousting skills! Check out this review for some great pics!

 

Have a trip worth sharing? Tell us all about it! Post you rholiday review in the Holiday and Album Review section to earn a possible 2 ORG points, or respond to a review for a possible 1 ORG point. We can't wait to see where you've been!

 

Album Reviews

(By Lady Stefania)

 

There must have been a sale at the local record shop, because Banders went music CRAZY this month! So let's get right to the reviews! Leading off the pack with the Alternative section, we had Horus the Silver reviewing SilverChair, Jeanasis filling us in on the latest from Evanescence, Tal told us about Augie March's "Moo You Bloody Choir", Kastchei informed us on both Dream Theater and Oingo Boingo, and Emperor, who apparenlty is a big Bare Naked Ladies fan, reviewed 5 of their albums!Next comes the Rock section, where Kastchei told us about Daughtry's self titled album as well as Sting's "Soul Cages", Tal dished on Black Fingernails, Red Wine, Emperor dropped back in to share about Big Wreck, and Apollo filled us in on both Joe Strummer and the Mescaleros "Rock Art" and Stereophonics "Pull the Pin". Emperor also inserted an entry into the Pop category with Ben Folds Five's album "Whatever and Ever Amen". Isharazang had the Rap category all to himself as he reported on DJ Premier, NaS, and Jay-Z. And lastly, in the Religious section, Jeanasis reviewed Hero Rock Opera Discs 1 and 2 as well as a classic from DC Talk.

 

Heard anything good lately? Yeah? Then tell us all about it! Post your Album Review in the Holiday and Album Review section for a possible 2 ORG points, or stop by and put your two cents in on a recent review for 1 ORG point. So what have you been listening to?

 

Gig Reviews

(by Lady Stefania)

 

We had on new gig review added to our midst this month as Iron Monk shared about going to see Weird Al Yankovic in concert. Iron really seemed to enjoy himself despite the fat dancing guy in front of him!

 

Been to a concert? Want to earn some points? Then post your Gig Review in the Holiday and Album Review section for a possible 2 ORG points, or stop by and put your two cents in on a recent review for 1 ORG point.

 

Bander's Birthdays

(by Bridmorgan)

 

Another month, another year older.  Why is it when we are young, time can't go by fast enough until our next birthday, but when you get older they come too fast?  ;) 

 

So in the words of our illustrious Editor in Chief, Happy Smoochday to all of you and many happy returns!!

 

Morrigan - 11/1

Celeborn - 11/2

Artos - 11/2

Shadowhelm - 11/5

Blademaster Tay XO - 11/9

Peck - 11/10

Johnnysolstice - 11/10

alaxanderzephyr - 11/13

karania - 11/13

Jea - 11/15

DiamondBraid - 11/17

haggisfarm - 11/18

False Dragon - 11/19

lara - 11/20

Booklover1 - 11/20

woolhead - 11/23

Blade - 11/26

Stormy Rayne - 11/30

Urlosenged - 11/30

 

[Mystica]

Ranking List of the Active Banders

(by Bridmorgan)

 

The ranks you see are based on the earning of ORG points and are arranged top to bottom. The top 3 positions are what we call our 'Senior Staff' and they are permanent and not linked to any points. The points based positions are divided between 'Commissioned' (= Officers) and 'Enlisted' (= Non-Officers) and can be achieved by any Bander willing to put in the necessary work.

 

Our newest members, the Raw Recruits, are not in this list as they get a special mention in the Raw Recruits Section further in this paper.

 

This ranking is based on the last promotion round: 15 November 2007

 

Senior Staff

 

Marshal-General: Corki

 

Under-Commander: F Horn of Valere

 

Executive Officer: Taymist

 

Commissioned Officers

 

Banner-Captains:  Auld Manriva, Footman, Mystica, Direwolf Jon, Twinflower

 

Captains:  Uasal, BridMorgan

 

Lieutenant-Captains:  Apollo277, Steel Axe

 

Senior-Lieutenants:  Kristine, North Star

 

Lieutenants:  Froix, Katiora, Amavia, Chaelca, Jeannaisais, Kara_J

 

Under-Lieutenants:  Stefania Sedai, Dragonlover, Odette, Cumadrin, Arrandion, Goldeneys, 12th Regiment, Kieran Warwick, Dicetosser1, Son of Battles, JimRaynor/JR

 

Enlisted

 

Master Sergeants:  Lazy_Man, Ashandarei, demonspawn, Safia al-Maaz

 

Sergeants:  Alishandra, DSage, kingkastschei, Mr. Soy Boyo, Anigrel Tavadon, Faile, Talya, Emperor, Zeth Alley, lewstherin

 

Corporals:  Silver89, Tigara, Belar, Moose, hazlyyn, Feral, Nynaeve, Taluka_Sedai, Loranflame

 

Privates First Class:  Climhazzard, Diamondmask

 

 

Bander's Real Life Stories

(compiled by demonspawn)

 

Welcome one and all to the Hornsounder Real-Life section, where all Banders can share their R-L experiences with all readers of the Hornsounder.

 

Hi everyone, Demonspawn here. I have recently been charged with trying to generate renewed interest in the R-L section of the Hornsounder, and I am pleased to say that the Band of the Red Hand has responded admirably. We have stories which are both happy and not so happy, and a story of mild embarrassment. So without further ado, I shall desist my aimless rambling and get straight on with our first R-L entry for this month

 

Birthday Surprises

(by Blademaster Taymist, XO)

 

First up we had a very special birthday in the ranks, with our illustrious XO, not to mention my most excellent Morat, BM Taymist, celebrating her *Shrouds himself in Tact and Diplomacy like a suit of armour* 21ST birthday!!! Yay Tay!

 

Having celebrated my birthday yesterday, 9th November, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who left me messages. 8-) I had a high old time keeping track of the different threads that were posted at the Ogier, the Kin, the White Tower, the Wolfkin and here at the Band for DM not to mention those at The 6th Age, A New Turn and A First Age. :D Kept me busy all day lol.

 

Highlights of my day included an email from my brother who's still out in China... first time he's remembered in several years, *chuckles* ... and I also had a delightful surprise when I got a birthday card all the way from Belgium from our lovely Editor-in-Chief and my very own Souvra ;)... thanks Mysty.  Of course, getting a Sacred Cooler from Cuma was pretty neat too, ;) not to mention about 6 cakes from Talya lol. Thank heavens virtual calories don't effect the hips or I wouldn't stand up for a week!!! ::)

 

My fiance bought me a gorgeous Myth and Magic figurine of a Wizard holding a dragon tapestry, the kids got me a CD and my parents sent me some gift vouchers for my favourite clothes shop. So all in all a really great day.. and we'll just ignore the fact that yet another year has flown in.... 21 works for me... even better, in Footy's words... I'll just be infinite. :D :P

 

Tiny little future Cavvie on the way!!

(by Lady Stefania Sedai)

 

Now we continue the good news with an announcement from Lady Stefania of the Cavalry.

 

My husband and I are thrilled to announce that we will be welcoming a new little Cavalry man or woman into our midst! We expect the little Sarm to show up around July 27th!

 

Life's tough, but I'm tougher!

(by Climhazzard)

 

The next is a cloud with a silver lining from the Infantry's Climhazzard

 

This has been a rough year to say the least. My fiance was in and out of the hospital for the first 6 months. I had a mental breakdown. A few of them actually. :P And at the beginning of November, my cable, phone, and electricity were all cut off at the same time! But however in the last couple of weeks things are turning around....finally! Thanks to a very good friend, we got everything turned back on. And now my fiance has a very good job that she likes and is really good at. Also I'm now registered to start classes at the local community college for the spring semester. Man I'm 26 and now going back to school. I feel like an old man. It only took 11 months but now things are finally starting to swing in an upwards direction.

 

Mixed Fortune

(by Jeannaisais)

 

Next up we have a silver lining which unfortunately, for all involved, has a cloud attached. This story of mixed fortune is from the Archer Jea.

 

So far, November has been a pretty good month for me. I turned 18, got about 17 literature classics (hmm, I need to get one more, lol) and, in general, have had fun. What I find absolutely hilarious at the moment though is that I just recently learned I got a raise from work. Now, before I lead you all on too much, I will explain that it was only a 25 cent raise, but a raise nonetheless. The funny part is that I got it back in August.....weird, right? lol! So, now, instead of receiving $7.25 per hour, I receive $7.50 per hour! It's amazing what a quarter difference can make, lol! Oh, and for sake of explanation I will say that I work at a fast food chain known as Taco Bell.

 

On another note that does relate to me but does not affect me too greatly, I recently learned that my boyfriend's oldest sister and her two children were in a very severe car accident. She was driving with her two kids (a 5-6 year old boy and 6-8 month old girl)when she hit an icy patch on the road that sent her vehicle out of control and into a lane of oncoming traffic. They are still alive, but have all suffered injuries. Right now, I'm just thankful that there were no fatalities at the scene of the accident.

 

My contribution to others' joy and fun

(by Demonspawn)

 

Last, but not least, here is a rather unfortunate incident which involves yours truly! *Sighs* Ah! Well!

 

I shall now recount a rather embarrassing event when I was working in Glasgow, Scotland recently.

 

I was in my hotel one morning, and along with my co-worker, was seated and awaiting a quite appetising Full English Breakfast, which is the staple early morning diet for when working outside all day. However, as I knew full well this would not keep me going for very long, I arose from ones table and began helping myself to the breakfast buffet as you do when the company is footing the bill.

 

With a bowl of deliciously appetising Weetabix in hand I made my winding way back to my allotted table. I must, at this point make one thing clear! The breakfast area at the hotel was not unlike a Scooby Doo cartoon, chase scene. Whereby the scenery is rather repetitive, you know… Plant pot, table, coat-stand, plant pot, table, coat-stand… So on and so forth.

 

Back to the story.

 

I sat down at the table, in a world of my own, in my usual state of bewilderment, and with sthingyful of cereal half way to my mouth, I look up… Imagine my surprise, when instead of looking at my work-mate, I am now face to face with a total stranger. I then spoke the one sentence that seemed appropriate at the time… “I’m sitting at the wrong table aren’t I?” To which the said stranger replied, “Yep. That one is yours over there!” Indicating a table two places down, where my work-mate was in absolute hysterics. Needless to say, I did not join him in this wanton display of mirth, and merely made my apologies, and hastened to the actual table I should have sat down at in the first bloody place!

 

It just remains for me to say, that I am sure that everyone will join me in congratulating, where congratulations are due, commiserating with those who have hit on bad times, sending our best wishes to those in need, and laughing out loud at the stupid arse that is me!

 

Thank you to everyone who has submitted their stories this month, and I hope to see many more in the months to come!

[Mystica]

 

 

Archers

(by Jeannaisais)

 

As first time C-G of the Archers I've been somewhat unsure of exactly what to concentrate on first with the archers. I have been working on activity as well as our post-recruitment scheme. I am glad to say that the Assassin program has been discussed and edited and will soon be seen coming back in full force. Other than these few things, I hope to continue increasing activity and get as many of the current archers through the Assassin program as possible.

 

I would also like to announce that we have had an addition to our regiment this year. Congratulations to Emperor, a future Assassin for the Archer's regiment in the Band! Thanks Empy, for joining our ranks.

[Mystica]

From the Horse’s Mouth~News of the Calvary!

(by Sir Jon the Direwolf)

 

Greetings from the Yard!!

 

The Rider’s of the Storm have been very busy this November! There have been some heavy amounts of posting, some Raw Recruits about, several members taking on the monthly competition festival, many spotfines, and others have been taking part in various other things around the Band’s Camp. 

 

The Cav welcomed home one new member this month, Diamondmask!!  Diamond recently finished her recruit time and she was a phenomenal recruit, who did very well at finishing her recruit tasks!!  The Cav are happy to welcome her as our newest member and can’t wait to see her make her way through her Page time and pass into Squirehood!!  The Cav are really looking forward to seeing Diamond become a Knight! Good luck to you Diamond, on your Page Program tasks!!!  Somewhere soon she will be a Knight in one of the three orders. 

 

 

Congratulations go out to Sir Manny!!!  Sir Manny was awarded the Infantry Regimental Award for all of his hard work that he has done for the entire Band.  Sir Manny does so much for the Band and he really does have a positive affect on so many of the members!!  Like me for example, he might not know this, but I really look up to him as a mentor and a friend!  He is good at making people laugh, and he is always willing to give time to help the Regiments or the Band!  Congratulations Sir Manny!! Keep up the great work!!

 

 

In other news:

 

The Cav’s Redarms have been extremely busy this month.  Sir Steel has been a spotfine machine yet again this month. He gave out 5 spotfines, including two for his CG and one for himself.  Some of his spotfines led to trials, which gave the RAs even more work.  Guess they didn’t bribe him with enough bandy this month. Finally, the band is starting to see some rule breaking again!    The RAL, Sir Manny and his team of RA’s are starting to see more challenges nowadays.

 

The beginning of the month brought four out of the mind-boggling eleven promotions to the Cav.  My most amazing banded, Lady Brid was promoted from Lieutenant-Captain to Captain. Feral and Silver were both promoted from Private First Class to Corporal.  Taluka was promoted from Private to Private First Class. Congrats to all of you, on your promotions for the beginning of the month!! The mid-month promotion period brought one of the three promotions to the Cav.  Taluka went two for two this month and was promoted again this term.  She was promoted from Private First Class to Corporal. Congrats on your promotion for this term Taluka!!  Keep up the good work Cav!! Here’s to more promotions coming in the next month!!   

 

Sir DJ was certainly disappointed that he had to announce a delay in the start to the new Jousting Competition.  There have been six members that have signed up for the new tournament and Sir DJ is still accepting more applicants, so if you are a member of the Band and are interested, you might want to head over to the General Boards and post on the thread about the Competition. Sir DJ has made a note that it appears that the Competition will not start until sometime near the middle of December.  This Competition is open to all members of any of the three regiments within the Band.  There will be a trophy for the winner and who knows, that winner just might be you!!!  So please sign up and see if you have what it takes to be the next…Interegimental Jousting Champion!!!!

 

Congratulations go out to Recruits Samurai and Empy on receiving their Cavalry Achievement Pins!!

 

There were two birthdays celebrated in the Cav this past month.  Shadowhelm celebrated his birthday on the 5th.  Wooly had a birthday kind of late in the month on the 23rd.  The Cav would like to wish the two of you a happy birthday and we hope that you both had a great day filled with lots presents and cake and brew.  We in the Cav would like to say again, Happy Birthday and many happy returns!!

 

The Arthurians would like to congratulate Feral, Silver and Taluka and welcome them as their three newest squires.  Feral and Silver’s knight is the one and only Sir Uasal, along with his trusty sidekick, Wilson. Soon both will only need to earn their points to attain the rank of Arthurian Knight!!!  Taluka’s knight is the well known, wonderful Arthurian, Lady Brid!!!  Taluka will need to joust to finish her squire tasks. Then she will just need to earn points in order for her to be knighted.  We’re all looking forward to seeing the three of these squires become knights!!  Congrats on becoming squires you three, and good luck earning your points so that you can join the ranks of the knights!!!! 

 

So there you have it….from the Horse’s Mouth for November!

 

 

Jousting Arena

(by Lady Bridmorgan)

 

 

Welcome back to the Jousting Arena!  We’ve got some great excitement for you this month.  For those of you wondering about our dear Sir DJ, there were no lasting ill effects from the bash to the head.  Well, maybe the clucking like a chicken every 10 minutes or so, but otherwise he’s back to normal.  For some odd reason though, he didn’t argue about me taking over his position until further notice.  Must be my charming personality.  So grab yourself a comfy pillow, chair, or pachyderm, its Joust time!

 

RR Diamondmask vs. Sir DJ

Our first Joust is a continuation of one touched upon last month.  RR Diamond, mounted on Magnificat faced off against Sir DJ on Storm Dancer.  DJ started off the Joust with a question about sword forms which Diamond answered with ease!  Her question to the Joust Master was regarding an Inn in which Rand visited and DJ answered without breaking a sweat.  His next question for our agile recruit was about the One Power and men, which she answered correctly again!  Her next question for the Sarmation Knight was about the Aes Sedai who drilled a hole in the DO’s prison, which he answered easily.  His next and final question for Diamond was about carvings on a statue and the Recruit was stumped!  Ouch!!  But she wasn’t done for folks!  She asked our wily Knight about He Who Comes With The Dawn and she stumped him right back!  A fantastic and exciting Joust!  Final Score – 1 – 1 A Tie

 

RR Emperor vs. Lady Brid

Our next Joust pits RR Empy on Emperor against Lady Brid on Aragorn.  After some good hearted bantering between the contestants, Brid asked Empy her first question about some of Rands clothing which the Recruit answered with ease.  He then retaliated with a question about the Seanchan armies.  Brid didn’t quite give him the answer he was looking for, but the Joust Master ruled in her favor.  (Thank the Gods for that!).  The Arthurian’s next question for Empy about the Black Ajah, which the slippery Recruit answered correctly.  Empy then asked Brid a question about Egwene’s sister and gave the answer with no problem.  Her final question for the crazy Recruit was about the Daughter’s of Silence, figuring she had him with this one; she was taken aback when he answered correctly.  Empy’s final question, (one of the hardest I’ve ever had) was about Verin, and Brid answered by the skin of her teeth.  Final Score – 0 – 0 A Tie

 

RR Samuraiflip vs. Lady Kat

Our final Recruit Joust brought RR Sam on Silent Thunder to compete against Lady Kat on Black Fury.  The Joust started off with Kat asking Sam a question about one of Perrin’s wolf dreams, which Sam answers with ease.  He then asks the Lady Sarmation a question about the Shaido Wise Ones and she also gets it right!  Kat retaliates with a question about Rhuarc’s wives and Sam once again shows his stuff and answers correctly.  His next question to Kat was about damane and she too couldn’t be stopped!  She asks her final question to Sam about Lan and he answered with barely a pause.  Sam’s final question to Kat was in regards to Draghkar and Kat showed that she wasn’t a Knight for nothing and answered correctly!  Final Score – 0 – 0 A Tie

 

Squire Feral vs. Sir Uasal

We had one Squire Joust this month!  It pitted the newest Arthurian Squire, Feral on Lightening against Sir Uasal on Little John.  Uasal’s first question of his Squire was about a Falcon and a Hawk, which she answered correctly.  Feral then asked him about Galad which Uasal had no problem answering correctly.  He then retaliates with a question about a man freed from a cage, which the young Squire missed!  She asks him about the Seanchan Empress and the Arthurian Knight was bested and he answered wrong.  Uasal then asks his final question of his Squire regarding s’angreal and she shows she’s Arthurian material and answers correctly.  Her final question to her Knight was in regards to a midwife and once again the Squire defeated the veteran Knight!  Weirdly, Brittney Spears kept popping up in this one.  Final Score – 2 – 1 in favor of Feral!

 

Till next time, keep your lances sharp and your minds sharper if you want to win a Cavalry Joust!!!

 

[Mystica]

Raw Recruit Round-up

(by Bridmorgan)

 

Once again we were regaled by the recruit antics here in the Yard.  They made us laugh, scratch our head in bewilderment and above all, they were FUN!!  Here’s the latest on the Cavalry Recruits!

 

First up is Diamondmask!  Diamond started with us at the end of October so we didn’t get to tell you about her last month!  Diamond's tasks included writing a two verse JoTS on the wonders of the Warhorse Bar and Grill which you can read in the Band’s Jak o’ The Shadows thread on DM.  Diamond has since joined the Cavalry!!! 

 

Our next Recruit is not stranger to DM, Emperor graced us with his presence this month!  His first task was to write a response to a Gig, Holiday or Album review and he chose to respond to a review on Las Vegas, Nevada.  His second task was to solve a Who Dunnit puzzle where he was led around the Yard with clues that sent him to one member to another and he finally figured it out!  It was DJ in the Warhorse!  Empy has since joined the Archers!

 

Our final Recruit for the month was Samurai!  His first task was to write an article for the Hornsounder on his favorite Knight which you can read in this months edition of the Hornsounder.  His second task had him returning lost items to members of the Cav which he did in record time!  Sam is in the process of choosing his regiment!

 

Our newest Recruits, Isharazang and Iron Monk have just started their time with us and you’ll read all about their escapades in next months edition!  Good luck and have a blast Ish and Monk!

 

Once again, the Cavalry would like to thank the Raw Recruits for making the Yard so much fun!  Good luck in your Recruit time and your new Regiments!!

 

Squirehood, Road to Knighthood

(by Sir Jon the Direwolf)

 

This has been a very busy month in the squire caverns of the Cavalry.  There have been 3 new squires active this month.  Of the three, none come from the fun-loving Sarmatians or the scholarly Templars, and all three come from the chivalrous Arthurians!  Let us now see what the new squires have been up to this month!

 

First off,we’ll start with the squire that began the month by becoming a squire.  Squire Feral finished all of her page tasks really quickly and well! The same was expected to happen during her squire time, which it did!  Her knight, Sir Uasal should be proud of his first squire, and all that she has managed to accomplish!  Feral and Sir Uasal got through their Squire Vigil pretty quickly and they wrote the JotS verses to finish it off.  After the Vigil is done, knight and squire have to joust each other in the Jousting Arena, under the watchful eye of the Joust Master, Sir Jon the Direwolf. The joust was well met and in the end, Squire Feral bested Sir Uasal 2 hits to 1 hit.  All that Squire Feral has to do is earn enough points and she will be knighted by the CG of the Cavalry!  Good luck earning your points Feral!!!

 

Next up we have a mischievous, Sarm-like squire who has become the second squire to Sir Uasal.  Squire Silver finished his page time quickly and he has now moved onto squirehood!  Sir Uasal and Squire Silver have just about wrapped up their Vigil and will then have to joust each other.  This joust should take place early next month some time.  After the joust, Squire Silver will only need to obtain his points and then he too will be able to be knighted by the Cav CG! Good luck in your joust and on earning your points Silver!!!

 

We will end with the newest member to the Arts, and she moves through her tasks so quickly, if you blink, you’ll miss it!  Squire Tal has done a fantastic job all throughout her Cav history and she’s definitely making her knight proud!  Squire Tal has become the second squire of the lovely Cav CG, Lady Brid.  The two have just about wrapped up their Vigil and will then have to joust with each other.  Again, this should take place early next month.  After the joust, Squire Tal will only need to earn points and then she will be knighted as well! She’s moving up the ranks already, it shouldn’t be too long before she is knighted!  Good luck in your joust and on finishing up earning your points Tal!!!

 

That's all from the Squire's Cavern! Maybe we'll see you in the Caverns next month!  :)

 

Cavalry Pages

(by Sir Uasal)

 

Hey everyone. This is Uasal Arach the Cav BG here with an update on our newest members. Well the Cavalry has been very busy this month. We’ve had two Pages complete their training, two almost done, and one just entering our Page Program.

 

Congratulations are due for the following Cavers for completion of the Page Program:

 

Squire Moose

Squire Feral

 

Here is the list of those still in the Page Program:

 

Page Taluka

Page Silver

Page Diamondmask

 

We’ve been really busy this month and have had a blast watching all of the tasks being completed by our pages. The Cav feel fortunate that so many have chosen our Regiment and look forward to their inspiration and participation in the Band as a whole.

 

I would like to post the MIA list in the hopes that some will return to us!!  If any of you on this list would like to get back into the Cav to continue on your way to becoming a knight, please just send me a PM on the new DM boards.  I hope to hear from some of you!

 

Tigara

Myrelle

Aiotanga

Taliquemet

Heltor Helton

Sboydw

Zarine

Captain Huey

Shadowhelm

Shauna

Eve

 

Well that about does it for the month of November. Until next month this is the Gentle Dragon signing off.

 

[Mystica]

Welcome to Infantry Row!

(by Demonspawn)

 

Here it is again folks!

 

Another month has gone by in the Barracks, and quite an eventful one at that! The hardest part of this months instalment of Infants Row, is where to start?

 

*Change of Personnel*

 

First off, there has been a change of journalist for Infantry Row. Alas, Kara will no longer be regaling us all with her recounting of the months events, instead this dubious honour will now fall squarely on the rounded shoulders of yours truly… Demonspawn!!

 

*Waits for the rapturous applause to die down before going on to the less important changes in personnel!*

 

A new term and new faces at the helm, here are the three lucky people who will be seeing to the running of the Infantry this term!

 

Captain General

Blademaster Mystica

Lieutenant General

Footman, Blademaster Grim

Banner General

Kara

 

Good luck in your new roles for the next term! You’ll need it!

 

*Promotions*

 

Now we move onto this months round of promotions. November started off with a truly astounding number of promotions within the ranks of the Infantry, with no fewer than SIX Infants advancing through the ranks. This was added to in the Mid-month promotions to increase the total for November to Seven. OK! So it was Kastchei being promoted for the second time, but it was still seven promotions for the month.

 

Below is a list of all Infants promoted this month. Admittedly, this reads more like a Most-Wanted list than it does a Roll of Honour, but here goes anyway…

 

From Sergeant to Master Sergeant

Demonspawn

From Corporal to Sergeant

Talya

Lewstherin

Zeth Alley

Kingskastchei (15 Nov)

From Private to Corporal

Kingkastschei (01 Nov)

From Private to Private First Class

Climhazzard

 

Congratulations and a tray–full of Guinnys to each and every infant promoted!

 

*Mahdi Program Advancement*

 

There were two Infants who advanced in the Mahdi program in November… First Climhazzard under the wing of his Morat Footman Grim the Pink, advanced through the first stages of his Mahdi-hood. And secondly, Mahdi Zeth Alley, who under the expert guidance of his Step-Morat Blademaster Kris, progressed to Level 3 of his Mahdi-ship. Well done Clim and Zeth!!!

 

*Bandings*

 

This month saw not one but two Inter-regimental Bandings. Both involving Infantry and Cavalry Banders. First saw the Banding of Lewstherin of the Infantry and Taluka of the Cavalry.

 

Secondly a Banding which saw an infestation of rampaging polka dotted elephants, prior to Demonspawn of the Infantry (Yes… That’s me!) Banding Lady Bridmorgan of the Cavalry.

 

Congratulations to all involved and best wishes for long and happy Bandings!! Hip-hip! Hooray!!

 

*Two Very Special Awards!!*

 

This month saw a truly special occasion for a truly special Infant… Footman Grim and his multitude of aliases. Now, rather than having me explain, I will quote directly from our esteemed CG Mystica…

 

“Footy, no one before ever embodied the true Spirit of the Infantry than you. You are our shining Light in the Dark and even though the light is pink.... *gives the 'look'*....... It has been to us a safeguard in all the time you have been with us.

 

it is with an enormous amount of pride and imense pleasure that I give you now, this token of your Regiment's appreciation for all that you have done for us.

 

May you be allowed to continue to do as you always have (maybe with a little less pink..... *one can only hope*) and continue to light up our days and hearts and strengthen our spirit when Darkness would have it.

 

Receive this day, Footman Deathdealer Grim.....

 

THE INFANTRY SPECIAL AWARD

 

 

I think everyone will agree that this was thoroughly deserved! Congratulations Footy… Or whatever name you choose to go by these days!

 

The second of these truly magnificent awards goes to none other than Auld Manriva. Once again, I will now quote the wordds of the Infantry CG Blademaster Mystica:

 

Manny,

 

It is with a huge amount of pleasure that I have called you here today, to present to you that which so rightly belongs to you. The Infantry acknowledges all that you have done for our Org in so many ways, making each of our experiences a more richer and fuller one in your very own special way. The Band wouldn’t be the same without our Ol’ Pirate, stomping around, slapping backs and handing out Pirate Brews. In whatever activities that are raised, you are in the midst of it, wether to offer a hand, a shoulder, a slap on the back or a choke from laughter. And sure enough, we can always count on you to bring them culprits of Band Breakers to (in)justice or teach them the proper ways to corrupt a Redarm.

 

Auld Man, you are a credit to your Regiment, a pleasure to Infantry and an invaluable member of the Band. Friend, Brother, Cousin, Mentor and Mischief, you have earned this and then some!

 

As Captain-General of the Infantry, I have the honor to bestow upon you, Sir Manny, the

 

Infantry Regimental Award

 

 

 

Well that concludes the Infants Row for another month, thanks for reading!

[Mystica]

 

 

Raw Recruits

(by Taymist - XO)

 

For any future Banders out there, the Raw Recruit Programme is how we initiate all new members to our Org. Each Recruit spends a week with our three regiments in turn, doing fun tasks and getting to know members. At the end of the three weeks they may choose a Regiment to join.

 

During the month of November we had four Recruits graduate and receive their RR Stripes!!! They were Taluka, Diamondmask, Climhazzard, Emperor and Samuraiflip05. Climhazzard has joined the Infantry, Taluka and Diamond have both joined the Cavalry and Empy joined the Archers. Samurai has still to make his decision. Congratulations to all of the Regiments. Well done to Empy for also volunteering to take on the junior RLO position for the Archers.

 

The Outstanding Recruit of the Month is the Recruit that has stood out to me as being the most motivated and dedicated. The Outstanding Recruit must excel amongst his/her peers and a reward for this prestigious title is the prize of one org point.

 

The Outstanding Recruit for the month of November is: Emperor

 

Don’t forget to offer your congratulations the next time you see him!

 

Of the Recruits choosing Regiments the final statistics for the year are:

 

19 - Infantry

16 - Cavalry

8 - Archers

 

Missing In Action figures are very reasonable with 27 out of 81 Recruits going MIA this year and we have 1 new Recruit working their way through their training at the moment. A warm welcome to Iron Monk who is on his final week. Isharazang is also about to commence his training at the Yard and I'm sure will be greeted with enthusiasm as he makes his rounds.

 

Check out the Regimental articles for all the up to date news on Recruit antics from the excitement of the jousting to the delights of bardic performances and fancy dress parties. Our training regime has covered the lot.

 

My thanks go out both to the RLOs from last term as we had a change in Staff at the beginning of November and also to our other RLOs throughout 2007. You all did a fantastic job, putting in a great deal of time and effort and I'm sure those who follow will continue that trend.

 

I look forward to more success and more Recruits in 2008. Hopefully some of those who are on leave or missing in action will return home to us as well.

 

 

Current RLO contacts after the start of the Christmas Term:

 

Archers

Morrigan

Emperor

 

Infantry

Demonspawn

Talya

 

Cavalry

Lady Katiora

Lady Stefania

 

 

See you all in the New Year with the latest Round Up and even more fun and games from our crazy, if entertaining, Recruits and RLOs.  In the meantime, I wish each and every one of you a safe and happy Christmas season.

 

 

[Mystica]

 

The Redarm Report

(by Auld Manriva )

 

JUDAS PRIEST!!!! Another month has slipped away. Seems like maybe 30 days ago I was sittin here bloody typin one of these things... Is the earth spinning around the sun faster or something? Has somebody turned up the globe spinning wick with out notifying me? What in Seven Bloody Hells is goin on here? It's flamin Christmas for REAL already for cryin' out loud... Haven't bought a single bleedin Christmas pressie yet and already gone through dead presidents like I can print em on my flamin EPSON!... God Save Illian! I hope these dang teenagers get to be 20 somethings danged quick.... Oh wait! Got the nephew to go another 10 at least .. ummm and the niece another 17.... Ohh MAN... that makes me like what.. 90??!! before I can... No hell no.. These breeders are gonna start havin litters themselves. ... Cri Ma Nittly .... Anyone have a spare passport? Think I'm just gonna sail away to Barbados or maybe some volcanic islet and wait for bleedin Armageddon.. Would be more flamin suspenseful anyway.... Cheaper Too!

 

Oh Yeah!! RA report.. Almost forgot what I was a'posed ta' be writin about. Welllllll.. let's see. The usual suspects have been afoot and under foot.. The Cav CG Bridmorgan, dastardly Moriarty that she is (The Lass is a flamin Arthurian Knight for all love!) has been seen in stirs repeatedly, along with about every other Bander under the sun. Cuma (only recently returned) Goldy who was around just long enough to receive a spotty, Talya (poor lass), repeat and equal opportunity offender DiceTosser, Silver, Kat, Kast, Empy (who went through RR strikes like he had 3 or something) and of course lets not forget 12TH!! Seems Inspector Steel Eye and Rookie Zeth Alley are sin... doub.. quadruple handedly keeping things ship shape.. To the point that Steel has spotfined his own self and confused the beejeebers outta Zeth who is walkin around scratchin' his noggin even as I type!

 

Well if I don't have a chance to rant and rave to you all again before the New Year .. What? Whaddya mean I won.... OH... Yeah.. See what ya' mean..  Well, at any rate

Merry Christmas all you followers of The Lord Dragon (you Pit of Doom dwellers can go pound sand) and Happy New Year. May your days be merry and bright and may all your Christmasses be ..................... swell

 

 

 

 

Let's Be Safe Out There

[Mystica]

 

Welcome,

 

How to get your story in the Hornsounder?

 

Do you have interesting, funny, weird, general stories that you'd like to share but that don't quite fit in any of the other sections?

Then don't hesitate to contact me by pm to present your idea/topic and next month your story could very well be published in Hornsounder.

 

In here you could find:

- the full articles of summarized pieces found in the other Sections

- the loose articles from Banders and Non-Banders that are not assigned to any one Section

- independent and Sectionless projects and coverages

- various undetermined pieces of work from both Banders and Non-Banders

 

The articles and coverages that are posted here can cover any topic, be it about WOT, Band, DM related topics or anything else that might be of interest to share with our readers.

 

Now without further hesitation, I wish you a lot of reading pleasure with this month’s collection of articles.

 

Mystica,

EiC

 

Colums

 

*Recommendation from the M-G*

(by Corki)

 

The nights are drawing in as we fast approach Christmas. That also means my university term will end soon, so therefore essay deadlines are fast approaching. Lots of reading and writing and the hope that what I am writing makes sense! Now, one of my essays covers the history of the Ancient Near East and Egypt. As many people will know, the Tutankhuman exhibition opened recently in London. And I was fortunate enough to get tickets for the opening night! Even though I covered Tutankhuman and the Golden Age in my studies last year, I was still interested in going, and here's my review!

 

Once I got my tickets, I was pretty excited! It also meant I was going to see the O2 Arena (what used to be the Millenium Dome). I'd never been before, so I was eagerly anticipating the visit. It was a pretty chill night, but I was so glad I took my overcoat as inside the Dome was pretty cold! You definitely need a jacket in the winter! The O2 Arena has a variety of functions, ranging from a concert hall (My Chemical Romance were playing the same night), lots of places to eat (Pizza Express, Nando's etc) as well as having an ice rink.

 

Anyway, off I go with my mum and girlfriend, who came along as well. My first criticism of the exhibiton is the fact that there is nowhere to put heavy bags should you have them with you. That is a bit of a disappointment. Entry is all hi-tech, with scanners to check tickets and scanners for bag security (though they didn't pick on every bag - strange). Once you enter the exhibition for proper, you stand in this small room and get a brief introduction about Tutankhuman and the Golden Age, before the doors open and you're inside.

 

The exhibition has 11 rooms, all of which cover different aspects of Dynasty 18 (the period that includes the Heretic King, Akhenaten, famous for worshipping the sun disk, the aten, instead of the traditional Egyptian deities), the age of Tutankhuman. Egyptian religion, the Royal Court and Death are all themes that heavily dominate the exhibition, with a wide variety of artifacts covering them. The room that covers Death has a large sarcophagus in the middle, with a variety of finds associated with the tombs, like the canopic jars.

 

As you meander your way through the rooms, you are working towards the main part of the exhibition - the artifacts of Tutankhuman. As you get closer to the end of the exhibition, the amount of gold increases. This shouldn't be a surprise, as gold was very common, and a prodominant feature of Akhenaten's reign. The exhibition tells you of Tutankhuman's task of bring back the Egyptain deities, especially Amun-Re, who was shunned by Akhenaten. The most noticeable change is in Tutankhuman's name - Akhenaten had actually called him Tutankhaten - and by changing the ending, Tutankhuman showed his willingness to change back. You learn about Howard Carter's discovery of the tomb, before a room full of lovely artifacts from the tomb itself.

 

You are now working towards the end of the exhibition, and you would expect something big. But sadly, you are to be disappointed. There is nothing big like the Death Mask (Cairo said it was too fragile to move), so instead, you have to put up with a computer graphic of what the inside of Tutankhuman's sarcophagus looked like. Don't get me wrong, there are some nice items, like the dagger found inside the sarcophagus, but it a rather large anticlimax to what was a thoroughly informative exhibition. My mum has been fortunate enough to see the exhibition in the British Museum 30+ years ago as well as what is in Cairo, and this was her biggest disappointment of the whole exhibition.

 

As for ticket prices, it's cheaper to go between Monday and Thursday, as they only cost £15. For Friday and weekends, the price is pushed up to £20, which I think is a bit steep for the exhibition. And the prices of souvenirs on the gift shop is ridiculous! Get your credit card out, as you'll need it!

 

Overall, the exhibition is worth going to see. For me, it was great, as it put my studies from last year into perspective, and I was able to pass on my knowledge to my mum and girlfriend. It's informative and well laid out, but it does lack something at the end, after guiding and building you up for it.

[Mystica]

*Infantry Nights*

(by Kristine)

 

“What do we do now?” Kris asked.

 

“Good question,” Sakan replied, turning to face Na’cueran. The Asha’man was gone, and in his place was a Child of the Light. Kris readied to draw her sword, but Sakan looked instead at the dog, and then back to the Whitecloak, whose face, for a brief instant, flickered. Na’cueran’s face replaced the Whitecloak’s, and then it was back again. “Maybe we should follow them, out of sight.”

 

Na’cueran nodded. “You two could be good as back up as long as no one sees you, at any rate.”

 

Sakan reached back and quickly unclasped his color shifting cloak from around his neck. “I should have done this before we left,” he muttered, stuffing it into his shirt. “This is as good as a warning flag. All right, let’s go.”

 

Na’cueran and Shar Val walked down the corridor, with Sakan and Kris following far behind. They left enough room to see the Asha’man and dog, and enough room to be good back up. They would not be seen by anyone who confronted the other man, and that would give them the advantage.

 

They walked for sometime, through long, white corridors, gleaming in the light of thousands of lamps that dotted the Fortress. Every now and then, patches of darkness would arise, which signified a courtyard of some sort. The yards were also lit, but they were not made of white marble, and did not shine like the Fortress’ interior. The night air was chilly, but Sakan pushed the thought away, staying at the task at hand. To keep both of us alive, he thought. They were walking in silence, and Sakan was impressed at the cat like grace the Cadre had acquired. An untrained person could easily mistake her for a Gaidin.

 

“Sakan Gaidin?” she asked her voice no more than a whisper.

 

“What?” he replied.

 

“How will we do this without being seen?”

 

“Good question. We’ve been lucky so far, but…”

 

“Halt!” a sharp voice commanded.

 

“Keep walking, don’t look back,” Sakan whispered. “Follow my lead, and watch closely.”

 

The voice called out again, more aloof and a little annoyed, “I command you to stop!”

 

Sakan stopped, his body showing annoyance. Kris imitated him. He turned around slowly to the direction from which the voice had come, a side hallway which they had just passed. A lone Whitecloak guard was there, on his nightly patrol.

 

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” he demanded, in a slightly calmer voice.

 

Sakan snorted. “Who do you think you are, stopping an officer on official business?”

 

The guard was taken aback, but he was still suspicious. “How do I know that you’re an officer? I don’t recognize you. For all I know, you could be an intruder, pretending…”

 

“You dare accuse me of being an intruder?” Sakan shouted. He was slowly closing the distance between him and the guard. “How dare you? I’ll have you flogged for this!”

 

“Please, sir!” the guard caved in, looking panicked. “I beg your mercy, sir, I didn’t know. I have to be thorough, sir, it’s my job, I…”

 

“Oh, stop whimpering,” Sakan spat. Suddenly, His right hand struck the man’s chin, palm up, and as the man’s head snapped back, he reached up, grabbed the whitecloak’s hair, and pulled down, snapping his neck with the other hand. The lifeless body fell limp, held up only by Sakan’s hands on his head.

 

“I could have been much nastier,” Sakan said to Kris, “but you should never use cruelty on any human. Even a darkfriend does not deserve cruelty. But always remember – they will kill you if they have a chance. Never give them a chance.”

 

He laid the dead man on the ground, and quickly stripped him of his white clothes – and keys. “Quickly,” he said, tossing Kris the keys and donning the snowy garments “open the door to that closet over there, and then help me move him inside it, before anyone comes.”

 

“How do you know it’s a closet?” She asked, catching the keys and trying them in the lock.

 

“Because it has to be – we’re in a hurry. We may have lost sight of Na’cueran and Shar Val.”

 

“No,” she replied. “They’re there – across the courtyard.”

 

“Good,” Sakan clasped the cloak over his shoulders, and with Kris’ help, dragged the dead guard into the closet, locking the door.

 

They hurried across the courtyard, in time to see Na’cueran and the dog start down a staircase – to the dungeons, Sakan thought. Kris was pretending to be a captive, walking in front of him with her arms behind her back. They hurried down the stairs, to the sounds of beatings, shouts, and moaning. Probably normal sounds to come from the Whitecloak dungeons, he thought.

 

“What do we do when we get there?” Kris asked.

 

“We will have to see when the time comes,” Sakan answered. “You will have to be careful.”

 

As they reached the bottom of the stairwell, they heard a blast from down the hall.

 

“That must be Na’cueran,” Kris said. “That wasn’t very unobtrusive of him.”

 

“No, it wasn’t,” Sakan agreed.

 

A whitecloak stuck his head out of one of the doors. “What’s going on?” he demanded.

 

Sakan drew himself up to his full height. “Can a man not torture a darkfriend in peace around here? Get back to your business, Child!” He turned, hoping the man would not notice the lack of any knots of rank on his shoulder. As the man opened his mouth to argue, he shouted, “GO!”

 

The man muttered to himself, and slammed the door shut behind him.

 

“That was close,” Sakan said quietly. “Now let’s hurry, before we have the whole garrison down here, breathing on our necks.”

 

They ran down the hallway, to where the sounds of fighting had just stopped. A woman’s voice yelling “Na’cueran!” came through iron doors that looked like they had been blasted off their hinges and the sound of steel being drawn several times reached their ears. Sakan and Kris crept silently to the remnants of the door, and stood behind it, looking in to the room. Everyone was preoccupied, so no one noticed them.

 

“Kris,” Sakan brought his mouth down next to her ear. “You stand here and keep a sharp lookout, okay?” She nodded. “I need you to guard our backs for now. Look inside. There’s Mar, and Na’cueran. I don’t know who anyone else is, but for us, for now, they are all enemies - except Krynn Sedai, who is on the far side of the room. If you can, while you are keeping an eye out for anyone coming, keep an eye on what it transpiring inside. If I call, come in with your sword. If you know where everyone is, you will be of immeasurable help. Now, crouch down below the door, so no one will see you.”

 

“How will I know when you call me?” She mouthed.

 

“I will yell, ‘For the Tower!’”

 

“Ok,” she nodded.

 

“It worked twice,” he said to himself. “Third time’s the charm.”

 

He stepped into the open doorway and bellowed, “What is the meaning of this?” He hoped that Mar and Na’cueran would recognize him, and that the interruption would throw the others off balance just long enough to give them any bit of advantage….

 

Kris shrugged her slim shoulders, trying to keep loose and ready. "Not a field training exercise, and yet, here I am standing guard, not knowing where an attack can or will come from. I wish I had seen a layout of this place before we got here" She murmured to herself, eyes scanning, never staying still, she kept an eye on the fight that was going on inside, she remained low outside the door. She hoped the sound of fighting would not be too audible on the upper floors, but when she heard the tell-tale jangle of armor, she knew that the Creator had not heard that prayer.

 

"You there, who are you? Boy! I asked you a question!" Kris turned looked at the man with her smoky gray eyes, she shook her head, trying to act like she could not understand. She motioned with her hands that she could not speak. She pointed to the room where the obvious fighting was. It was moments before she noticed that the man was not wearing the uniform of a child.

 

"A mute servant of one of the commanders, huh? Well, I can make use of that later. For now, do as I say, or you die this night."

 

Kris' mouth tightened as the man came towards the room with a slim knife pulled. "Find the woman in the room, she has red hair and emerald green eyes. She also happens to be the only girl in there. Kill her, she is a witch. If you can make it look like one of the men did it, do it."

 

Kris shook her head, trying to refuse the knife, and the man backhanded her across the mouth. "Do it! Don't you know to obey when an officer gives you an order? I am an officer, you know, just not in uniform. Do it, child, or I will have to punish you. I'll reward you if you do it."

 

Kris again shook her head, and when the man came at her, looking to strike her again, she dodged to one side, grabbed his arm, and slung him over her shoulder, dropping him to the ground. She then crushed his windpipe with the heel of her hand when he tried to yell. The knife he had intended for the Aes Sedai's heart tried in vain to reach Kris. She pulled back, to be pressed forward against the wall. The other man was already in the throws of death when Kris grunted at the impact.

 

"Little minks! Didn't think you could get away with murder did you? I apprehend you as a darkfriend."

 

"For the Tower!" Kris heard the signal and began to thrash. "Let me go, I am no more a darkfriend than you are."

 

"Ahh, you can speak, and that cry is obviously something you expected. A tower trained woman, an Aes Sedai are you? Well, I knew I had a witch near, but I didn't expect to see her out in the hallway. Come on, witch, it is time to make your warders surrender."

 

"I tell you, I am not..." Black dots danced across Kris' vision at the back hand.

 

"I have found the witch!" The man called as he walked into the room. "Victory to the Lord of the Dark. Drop your swords and I will let her live."

 

Kris looked to Sakan, and to where the real Aes Sedai was. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all. She fingered the knife she still held in her possession.

 

In the most regal sounding voice she could muster, she announced, hoping above hope that Kyrnn would pick up on the charade. "You fool! Do you think I left the Tower, even just moments ago, to rescue a sister without aid of some kind? Do you know what this knife is? It is an angreal, one of the most powerful that can amplify the power a hundred times what even I can hold." With a look again to Kyrnn, she raised the knife.

 

 

 

Krynn obviously understood her intent as a blinding white bar of light flashed from the knife and shot into the darkfriend that had revealed himself. It winked out of existence shortly after, never appearing on the far side of the body.

 

The man dropped to his knees, a hole about as big as a thumb width perfectly through his heart, you could see through it. I hope that is enough for you to work with girl. Krynn emitted a small squeak before she fell backwards, the walls closing in on her as she hit pavement.

 

With all eyes on Kris, Mar took the chance that she and his wife had given him. Without hesitation, he leaped forward and brought his sword as if to strike the darkfriend’s chest. Out of instinct the man brought his sword up to defend, as anticipated. The clang of metal hitting metal seemed to spark life into the room once more. As soon as the blade’s struck, Mar brought his knee up hard into the surprised man’s stomach. With a grunt he doubled over and received a hilt to the back of his head for the effort.

 

The man fell limply to the ground, a dark red patch blooming from where he had been struck. As he hit the ground, Mar drove his foot into body as hard as he could repeatedly as if he had snapped. The unconscious man stirred slightly, and Mar brought his boot into the side of the man’s head one more time and then fell still. Mar was already moving away his eyes scanning the room, until they stopped on the fallen figure of Krynn. He staggered towards her, oblivious to the battle that raged around him. Whitecloaks started shouting from the hall. Mar glanced towards it and found Sakan and the woman who had claimed to be an Aes sedai holding back a hallway full of Children. Ignoring them, the Warder made his way over to his wife.

 

Falling wearily to his knees, he let out a deep sigh, before taking her in his arms. Gently he kissed her, and then smiled. “Krynn…wake up…come on…. you have to wake up…” his voice was little more than a whisper but her eyes started to flutter open. Suddenly she sat up, her emerald eyes full of horror. “Mar…something is wrong. I…I don’t know what it is but something is wrong.” On the verge of tears, she flung her arms around him. Taken aback, the former Asha’man gently stroked her hair before standing up. “Whatever it is, we will deal with it after my love. For now we must try and get out of this place. Can you stand alone?”

 

She released him and nodded numbly. He felt her aches through the bond, felt her fear and her uncertainty. Then he tried to give her strength, tried to add what little he had left to hers. “We need a Gateway Krynn. I must help Sakan and the other girl, please hurry.” With that he kissed her forehead then limped over to the doorway, his sword in hand.

 

Krynn stared with wide green eyes at the man that she had married not a week ago. She could not believe how things had gone in this past week; it was not supposed to be this way. Sighing, she tried to stand, even moving a little bit hurt her in ways she could not believe. Resting heavily on her right leg as she rose, Krynn embraced the Source. Mar kissed her forehead then limped over to the doorway, his sword in hand.

 

"Mar, in my current condition I cannot promise a large gateway, it may only be half my size." the tremor in her voice was evident, but the emotion displayed on his handsome jaw never changed as he looked back. He believed in her.

 

Drawing a long slow breath of air, she called the weaves to make a gateway. A silver slash appeared in the air beyond it a sparse field of green threads of grass and magnificent yellow blooms. She longed for the peace that the place seemingly had. She knew that beyond that lay the yards of the White Tower.

 

Clearing her throat she glanced towards him, keeping one eye on the wavering gateway. If they were to make it out of there then they had to move fast. Krynn could feel the weakening of her power and the gateway was growing more and more unstable. "Mar." she stated, not saying more but speaking volumes with her silence.

 

He hesitated in his spot, torn between needing to help and needing to go. He stole a glance ahead to the rest of their small group before jogging back to where she stood.

 

At seeing the waiver a small glint erupted in his eyes. "You go first." It was slightly abrasive. She flinched.

 

She didn't have time to disagree; she stepped delicately into the field. A warm breeze flowed over her as if the land was almost alive with magic. Perhaps it was there was no snow here. She looked back.

 

Mar stepped through with another hesitant glance back. She smiled as a wave of stubbornness passed through the bond. They were to be together till death do them part and neither of them wanted it to be that soon. He stepped in the green grass mere milliseconds before the gateway collapsed.

 

Sakan's sword had a very limited range, standing in the doorway with Kris. At least a dozen Children of the Light were milling around the doorway, trying to force their way in. Fortunately, this was the kind of fight that was most exemplified by his Philosophy – that the best way to win, was to fight not to lose. Nothing fancy was needed, because no Whitecloak could get near the door with the two whirling blades that the Gaidin and Cadre were wielding. The sounds of fighting in the room had stopped, and all he could hear was a lot of panting, and some whispering. Something did not add up.

 

“Kris,” he ordered, “Leave me at the door.”

 

“But…”

 

“Don’t argue with me, Cadre, go around the room, and make sure anyone not on our side is either dead or disarmed. You are the only one up to it right now.” Which leaves me against however many Children, all flocking to this cell like moths to a flame.

 

Kris left his side, and a plan began to form in his head. It was crazy, it was suicidal. But it was their only chance. A scream was heard from the corridor, followed by a lot of shouting, and the sounds of a large animal tearing at flesh. Shar Val, he thought.

 

Taking in a quick cleansing breath, Sakan leapt out into the hallway, startling the Whitelcoaks with Parting the Silk. He heard a few exclamations of surprise, and he leapt from foot to foot, twisting in circles, moving from Parting the Silk to Soft Rain at Sunset, whirling around and around with his blade, driving back the whitecloaks to a circle, all milling around just outside the reach of his blade. The next thing he knew, the whitecloaks were moving back, away from the giant dog, which was wreaking havoc down the hallway. Amidst the confusion, Sakan grabbed the large iron door that was leaning half against the doorway and pulled with all his might, heaving it back in place. Whiteloaks came surging towards him again, and he dropped the door, slashing out with The Creeper Embraces The Oak, stabbing rapidly towards each whitecloak that came near. An outside forearm block caught the leg of a man who tried to kick him in the head, and he twisted his arm around, catching the leg, and then slashing down through the leg with his sword. The man screamed as he fell off balance, Sakan letting go of the mutilated leg. A back kick and a hooking kick went solidly into the stomachs of two men who came close, and he spun around.

 

His sword clashed with another, and then with a flip of the wrist, Dandelion in the Wind went through the throat of the nearest man. Sakan watched as the man fell, the red question mark on his left chest face up. Sakan spun again, once more performing Parting the Silk, driving back the Children of the Light. He heaved the door once more, and heard a clang as it slid into the vertical grooves. It leaned out at the bottom, to give it support and stability, but no one could get in without a lot of effort.

 

He turned around. The sounds of screaming and roaring still shook the hallway, as did the sounds of clashing steel. Clashing steel… he looked up. Na’cueran was there, resting. Mar and Krynn had escaped through a gateway, and Kris was…

 

“KRIS!” he yelled. The sound of steel was mixed in with the sounds of screaming and Shar Val’s roaring. Whitecloaks were pounding on the door, trying to break in. Sakan pushed on the door, trying to move it away, but it was too heavy.

 

“Help me!” he shouted over his shoulder. “Kris is out there!”

 

Na’cueran tried to stand up, shaking his head, but he wobbled. Running to the other side of the room, Sakan crouched, and sprinted at full speed towards the door, leaping towards it with both feet. He extended his legs as he hit the door, and it flew open, crashing down in the hallway. Four Children of the Light were underneath the door, yelling and moaning in pain.

 

He leapt off the door, into the midst of the whitecloaks, trying to make his way to Kris.

 

[Mystica]

*Stef's Random Stories*

(by Lady Stefania)

 

VINEGAR

 

The clock on the mantel was slow. What a silly thing to notice at a time like this, Marna thought to herself. But she couldn’t stop staring at the dusty hands, blatantly declaring half past ten when very clearly the sun was not yet fully up. Lord Melroy obviously hadn’t expected such an illustrious guest to suddenly arrive and demand use of his manor house during the night or he would have had it properly prepared, the mantels dusted, the clocks wound. Even the hard back chairs that lined the walls bore a cobweb or two.

 

The echo of footsteps announced that Marna was no longer alone. She turned toward the staircase in time to watch the newcomer descend the last few steps. Marna had never seen a real Aes Sedai before and she wasn’t sure what she had expected, but surely this wasn’t it. The woman there on the stairs looked no older than herself, perhaps even younger, with  her dark hair hastily pulled into a bun at the nape of her neck and her face smudged with dust from the road. Her burgundy riding dress looked worn with travel stains along the hem and more than a few threads showing through the seams. Aes Sedai in the stories were always advising royalty and facing down warlords. Certainly no woman so disheveled could ever keep company with that society. But then the woman who called herself Aes Sedai came to stand in front of her and the breath caught in Marna’s throat.

 

Her eyes were like pools of midnight; angry midnight. Marna could see herself reflected in those pools, and she didn’t like the reflection.  The woman’s mouth was drawn down, her lips pursed in displeasure.

 

“I am Seranda Ritonan of the Red Ajah and I am unaccustomed to not even being allowed to freshen from my journey. Whatever you have to say to me had better be urgent. Sit,” the Aes Sedai motioned curtly to one of the hard back chairs and chose another for herself, arranging her skirts with delicacy, travel stains or not. She folded her hands on her lap and resumed her study of Marna, seeming to look into her very soul and disapprove of what she saw there.

 

Taking the chair, Marna reconsidered her approach. She had often heard that you caught more flies with honey than with vinegar. She would start with the honey. “My name is Marna Kaftlin, Aes Sedai,” she said with as respectful a tone as she could manage. “The one you have, Paitr, he is my son.”

 

Eyebrows barely rose above midnight eyes. “I see.” Marna was beginning to think that the pursed mouth was a permanent expression. “And how old is Paitr?”

 

“He’s 27 now, Seranda Sedai,” Marna answered, “but really he’s not. His mind, it is not like everyone else’s. My boy is simple. He acts as a child. He would never do anything to hurt anyone else, Aes Sedai.”

 

“So I was told,” Seranda replied coolly. “But you know why I have come after him?”

 

Marna lowered her eyes before she nodded. She could almost feel the disapproval radiating from the other woman’s glare. “I’ve known for a while.”

 

Silence hung between them. When Marna finally raised her eyes from the floor she found the Aes Sedai still considering her with an unblinking gaze. “And how did you discover this?”

 

For a split second, Marna considered lying, but under that midnight gaze she could feel her resistance wavering. Besides, she thought, she was trying the honey. “It was the animals,” she said slowly. “Paitr’s animals, they never died. Dogs, cats,” Marna shrugged. “Once when he was younger, 15 maybe, my father gave us an old nag mare. Said maybe we could get some use out of her before she had to be put to pasture. But my Paitr loved that horse. Wanted to sit on her while I walked them in circles. And that horse, she’s still in the field. Had to stop taking her into town before people started asking questions.”

 

The Aes Sedai made no move to speak, so Marna continued. “My Hamel, he died not too long after Paitr was born, and it’s been just the two of us ever since. My boy is everything to me. He’s so gentle and kind. He loves to play with all the village children. They treat him like he is one of them. And truly, he is. When the cooper makes rings for the other children to roll, he makes one for Paitr, too. And at Beltine, when the innkeeper Mistress Hanley bakes her sweetcakes, she saves one special for my Paitr. Please, Aes Sedai, you must understand. He is an innocent. He doesn’t deserve this.” Towards the end she knew that her voice sounded desperate, pleading, but she was powerless to control it.

 

Seranda Sedai was silent, unmoving but for the fingers of one hand, slowly tapping a cadence against her lap. Then in a voice dry like ripping parchment she asked, “Are you telling me you’ve known for years that your son could channel and have done nothing about it?”

 

Dropping her eyes back to the floor, Marna could only nod.

 

“Not only that, but you have harbored this dangerous man in your home, allowed him to be around other people even, with no thought to the threat he posed.” Again there was no heat in the Aes Sedai’s voice.

 

“But he isn’t a dangerous man,” Marna protested, raising her hands in supplication, “He is a boy! My Paitr will never be more than a boy! Aes Sedai, you must understand, the things he does, they are harmless. What harm is there in sparing an old nag? What harm in keeping animals?”

 

Now heat flooded Seranda Sedai’s voice and she leaned forward, bringing her face down into Marna’s. “Don’t you see, woman? That is only the beginning. With time he will go insane and strike out with the Power, a power that he neither understands nor can control! That is the fate of all men who channel. And who is to say what he will do then?”

 

“No, Aes Sedai, no! Not my Paitr,” Tears burned hot trails down Marna’s pleading face. “He would never do that. He is a good boy! He’s all I have! I will take care of him, keep him away from others! Just, please, don’t take him from me!”

 

Seranda Sedai leaned back and folded her arms. All the emotion of the previous moment simply vanished from her voice. “That is not possible. Your son is in the custody of the Red Ajah. He will be transported to Tar Valon, and there he will be gentled. Perhaps then he will live to return to you. Perhaps. There is no negotiation possible on this matter.”

 

Peering up through her tears, Marna saw the other woman’s face, so still and expressionless, and knew that the honey hadn’t worked. There was nothing left now but for the vinegar. 

 

“Can I tell him goodbye?” Marna asked meekly. “Surely there is no danger in a mother kissing her son goodbye when she might never see him again.”

 

Midnight eyes and a pursed mouth considered her, and Marna felt herself sized up and dismissed as beneath concern. “I suppose that it is acceptable, so long as you are brief,” Seranda said. “You will find him in the cellar. Rest assured that I have him shielded and bound, so you are in no danger in his presence.”

 

Marna cringed to hear her gentle Paitr spoken of so harshly, but she nodded her understanding and gave a weak smile of gratitude. Seranda Sedai led her to a set of stairs in the back of the kitchen, lit only by a single lamp hanging on a rusty hook. Taking the lamp down, Marna descended the stairs. Seranda Sedai would wait for her at the top.

 

When she left the last step, Marna had to cast the light around before it landed on Paitr, huddled and unmoving against a far wall. He sat unnaturally stiff, his arms wrapped tightly around drawn knees, mouth distended with an invisible gag, but his face seemed to light up at the sight of her. She could see that his eyes were red and haggard from crying. Paitr had never liked the dark.

 

Marna hurried over and knelt beside him. She tried to make her voice soothing, although deep inside all she wanted to do was scream. “There’s my good boy. Mama missed you.” Hands trembling, she wiped the wetness from around his mouth and smoothed back disheveled hair. Paitr’s eyes never left her face.

 

“I know it’s scary down here, isn’t it? Mama is so sorry that you had to be here all alone. But don’t worry. Mama is here now, and she will never let those mean women have you. Everything is going to be better now.” Even as the last words left her mouth, Marna pulled the knife from where she had hidden it within her skirts and plunged it into his heart. She felt it slide against the breast bone and knew that she had achieved her goal. Paitr gave a soft jerk inside his unseen bonds then slumped against them with a sigh.

 

A cry from the top of the stairs announced that the Aes Sedai knew something had taken place. Never taking her eyes from his face, Marna withdrew the blade from Paitr’s still body. Drawing a deep breath, she turned the knife and buried it in her own heart.

 

No one would take her boy from her.

 

[Mystica]

Freelance Articles

 

*Why the Arthurian Order Is Better Than The Rest*

(by silver89)

 

Here is a task given to me while serving the Art's in the Page Program. Like most tasks within this program it is designed to be fun and also allow the new Cav member to get to know the members and their Orders. These 3 Orders of Knights are- the Arthurian, Sarmatian and Templars.

 

Here is the list of those reasons-

 

 

5 Reasons Why its better to be an Art than a Sarm!!!!

 

1. Arts are nobles, while they are barbarians.

 

2. Arts live a high life amoung the clouds, while the Sarms sleep in Caves!!

 

3. The Arts have Shiney Brew while the Sarms make do with normal bandy.

 

4. Hehehe, they even spelled their own name wrong (now fixed).

 

5. And though brawls are fun Arts aren't in a constant battered condition, they have to much dignity.

 

 

 

5 Reasons why its better to be an Art than a Temp!!!

 

1. Arts are nobles, while they are crusaders.

 

2. Arts drink brew at the Round Table, while Temps are praying at their Chapel.

 

3. The Arts drink Shiny Brew while the Temps make do with normal bandy.

 

4. Arts get to look snazy in their armour while Temps have actually get dirty and make it.

 

5. And lastly the Temps don't have a wonderful mentor like Brid.

 

 

 

Remember that the list was compiled in fun, so don't take it to heart and have fun with it. Enjoy.

 

 

*10 Questions, Sir Steel style!*

(by Taluka)

 

This is the task I was set as Page of the Sarms.

 

Having set up a couple of folding chairs under a nice shady tree and rolled in some barrels of bandy and supplied some nice nibblies, I nodded in approval at the scene and checked my watch as I sat in one of the chairs and tapped my foot impatiently. It isn’t long before I see Steel saunter toward me… drunk as usual!

 

Noticing the barrels of bandy and plate of nibblies he devours them within seconds, belches and takes a seat.

 

S: Hey I’m not as thunk as you drink I am...

 

T: Nearly vomiting from the smell I cough and speak. “Howdy Steel! I have a few questions to ask about being a Sarmation Knight. Would you do me the dishonour in answering my questions?”

 

S: *Nods assent.*

 

T: OK, question one. What compelled you to join the Sarms?

 

S: *Strikes best Rodin’s Thinker pose and speaks* It was this lady... she called herself Graendal... ok maybe that was just my dream... well first of all I heard that the Sarms are the barbarian knights... and as an uncivilized member of society I’ve always wanted to be a barbarian (not so much a knight... but it comes with the territory) second, I love the movie king Arthur, which feature Clive Owen as king Arthur and 6 Sarmatian knights... and they are awesome.

 

T: “Cool, I must watch it then! Question two. What do you most like about the Sarmation Order?”

 

S: we are very laid back, its not all about rules and guidelines, its about getting drunk, spreading chaos, and having fun... oh and no dress code... *twirls to show off his violet grass skirt and belly shirt*

 

T: Very… err… nice! *smiles* Question three. What is your most favorite prank you have been involved in?

 

S: *scratches his bum and thinks* The first prank I  was involved in... Goldy and I kidnapped an archer, then when we returned her we gave her a box containing special termites which she unknowingly unleashed in the archer tavern... the archers channeled and burned down their own tavern to rid themselves of the termites, and we didn’t get in any trouble.

 

T: *Laughing hysterically* That’s great! Now for Question four. What is the best prank you have plotted but never gone through with?

 

S: *Laughing to himself* Probably the election one, I'm still hoping to do it one of these days, but the band as a whole has sadly drifted away from pranking.

 

T: That would be an excellent prank, such a pity and a waste of perfectly good plotting… Anyhow on to Question five. What is your warhorses name and why did you name him/her that?

 

S: My horse is named Rusted Alloy, or rusty for short... I named him that because rusty and alloy were the two top vote getters in the poll I  put up to name him, alloy for steel and rusty for his red coat (his second job is as a valet).

 

T: Right… that would be interesting to see! Question six. As a Sarm have you ever been in a prank that went horribly wrong?

 

S: *Laughing out loud* Oh several, when you are doing a prank you never know how the other people will react, sometimes people can get really p****d off, but usually a few days later or whatever they'll realize it was just a prank and start laughing at it... if not, then prank them again.

 

T: Sure, that’ll learn them! Now Question seven. What is the worst injury you have received while brawling?

 

S: A better question would be what injury haven’t I received... broken ribs, broken skull, ripped off arm... the list is endless... I may have even died while brawling... I'm not sure... brawling is a dangerous sport and should never be tried at home.

 

T: There you go kids do not brawl at home! OK Steel, Question eight. What has been the best brawl you have been involved in?

 

S: hmm there are a lot of them... I like the kind where there are 5-10 people brawling and you get 10 pages in under an hour... That’s a good brawl...

 

T: That would make for interesting reading for sure and I think a place in the Cav archives! Well we’re nearly there now Steelie, Question Nine. Do you have any pranks in the planning?

 

S: *Shakes head* None really in the planning stage... a few ideas floating around, but for a prank to really work the band needs to be more active than it is right now.

 

T: For sure! I guess you are just resigned to handing out spottys in the interim…OK last but not least Question 10! How will you convince me to join the Sarmatian Order when my pagehood is up?

 

S: *In all seriousness* Well I  do have this bottle of wine, and a candlelit table at a fancy Italian place.... oh wait what was I  convincing you to do again... *grins* ok never mind... really I  think a choice of orders should be made by looking at what each order is about... the Temps are the more scholarly religious style of knights, the Arts are the romantic courtly knights, and the Sarms are the warriors... it also depends on your semi RP fighting style... the Temps are more disciplined, charging in ordered ranks and tend to be more medium to heavy cavalry, the Arts are heavy cavalry with the full plate armor and more solitary in their fighting, and the Sarms are more like light to medium cavalry and tend to make better scouts or harass the enemy with mounted archers and quick strikes... so really it all depends on what kind of knight you want to be.

 

T: Well that was the last question! Thank you so much for your time Sir Steelaxe.

 

S: No probs! *Runs off into the sunset in his violet grass skirt and belly shirt*

 

[Mystica]

Raw Recruit Articles

 

*Great Swords*

(by climhazzard)

 

When Strongblade refers to a “Battle Sword,” we are referring to most European medieval swords with blades longer than 35” or so. real battle swords had blades well in excess of this, and, in fact, a 35" sword was considered a bit skimpy for fighting skirmishes. But for home use and light sparring, a 36" blade is fairly long.

 

These swords can be sub-categorized into hand-and-a-half swords/bastard swords and two handed swords. Swords of this nature would have been a Knight’s primary weapon on the battle field because of their strength, reach, and armor-splitting weight.

 

These weapons were intended to smash and slice through thick armor, so had to be quite heavy and sharp. While the point of the sword could be used to pierce (and the final killing blow with these swords often was a thrust), this was primarily a slashing weapon.

 

The major disadvantage is that because they were so heavy, movement could be slower allowing for an opening while the wielder.

 

Katana

 

The bond between the katana and samurai welder was sacred. The sword was always used as a last resort. The samurai believed the katana was linked to their soul and should only be drawn under the most dire of circumstances (which could include saving a nobleman or family members, defending oneself from certain death, or chopping suasages for dinner or lunch (only acceptable if you're really hungry).

The katana was often worn paired with another smaller sword or dagger. The shorter sword, called a wazashi (also known alternately as Wakizashi and, occasionally, Fred) measured twelve to twenty-four inches in length. The dagger, a tanto measured six to twelve inches in length. The paired weapons (katana and wazashi) were referred to as daisho(the big and the small). The long sword was used for cutting and the short blade for stabbing. The most skilled practitioners of Kenjutsu(the samurai sword art) could even wield both weapons at the same time.

The katana is a long curved blade with a chisel like point. Because the katana is a single-edged sword it is also referred to as a back-sword, meaning it had an unsharpened edge or back, rather than a sharpened edge on both sides. Because of its curved shape and chisel point, the katana could be used as both a slashing and thrusting weapon.

 

The katana with its curve allowed for it to be drawn extremely quickly unlike its straight edge counterparts.

 

Scimitars

 

Curved swords most likely manifested somewhere around Egypt, with the appearance of the khopesh (a weapon somewhere between sickle and sword).

 

Since then, a number of curved swords began appearing in the East and westerners took to calling such curved swords “Scimitars.” Technically, there isn’t one sword that is called a scimitar; the term refers to the entire group of curved swords that came from East (excluding the Japanese curved swords). The term may be a derivative of “Shamshir,” which was a thin curved sword from Persia, although the shamshir wasn’t really popularized until the 1500s. Other scimitars include the kilij (think of the massive cleaver swords from Aladin and you have a fairly accurate picture), and the Indian Tulwar (somewhere between a shamshir and a kilij). Some smaller curved weapons from the east include the Kopis (a knifelike curved blade that probably was the predecessor of the Khopesh), the Nepalese kukri and the hook-handled falcata of ancient Spain.

 

Rapiers

 

Although the term rapier has become synonomous with any narrow-bladed sword (particularly those with fancy hilts), the term rapier actually applied to only a select few types of swords. Rapiers were narrow (usually one and a quarter inches wide), quite long, fairly heavy, and usually had only a slight edge on them. The extremely long length of the rapiers made them a bit heavy and cumbersome.

 

Although early rapiers did have sharp edges, the sword was meant almost exclusively as a thrusting weapon. It is theorized that the sharp edges on early rapiers were used to discourage opponents from grabbing the weapon with their off hand, although there is some evidence that the edges also allowed the sword to slide into a body more easily. That said, there is also evidence that early rapier weilders did use the edges to slash.

 

Falcata

 

The falcata stands in the Scimitar class of swords. But the term falcata wasn't used until roughly 1872, coined by the Spanish. It is short for the Latin term ensis falcatus or sickle shaped blade. It was brought to the Iberian Peninsula by the Celts during the Iron Age.

 

It's shape is where the falcata's strength lies. The blade pitches down towards the point and is concave on the cutting edge, and convex on the back. This allows it to hit an opponent with the force of an axe, yet still have the cutting edge of a sword.

 

I found that the Falcata also helped the Romans design their mainstay weapon, the Gladius. 

 

Naginata

 

The polearm weapon of the Samurai class. Used by both the infantry and cavalry. It was made of a long wooden shaft and a curved blade often with a sword hilt connect the blade and shaft. The naginata closely resembles the Chinese Guan Do and the European Glaive. It was used by the cavalry to dismount and disable an opponent. In the infantry it was used by foot soldiers to clear paths on the battlefield. The naginata was also used by the wives of the samurai to protect their homes while their husbands were away at war.

 

The naginata can be used to stab, but because of its center of mass it had tremendous balance and could be used radially. In the hands of a skilled warrior the naginata could clear a path almost 400 sq. ft. on the field. The naginata definately has its situational advantages over the sword. With its longer length, the weilder could stay out of reach of his opponent. The longer shaft provided more leverage allowing it cut more efficiently. The weight of the weapon made the strikes and cuts of the naginata more powerful.

 

However, swords can used to attack faster. Swords also have a longer cutting edge and were more precise and easier to control. 

 

Weapons have their place in the histories of the world. And we each have our own in our hearts.  These are only a few of weapons past, but there are so many more from ancient times and the present.

 

*My Favorite Knight of All Time*

(by Samuraiflip05)

 

.....The question posed for this article was my favorite knight.  After thinking a while on knights of all eras, and genres including reality, fiction, even video games, I have decided on a trio of knights.  The three knights in question are the same ones storied to have found, and gazed upon the Holy Grail.

 

.....The first of the three I will speak of is Sir Percivale (or Perceval).  Percivale is represented in numerous works including his first appearance in Chrétien de Troyes's unfinished Percivale or Conte del Graal (c.1190).  Most recently the story of Percivale was modernized in the (c.1990) film The Fisher King, starring Robin Williams and Jeff Bridges. 

.....The Fisher King is an important character in almost all of the stories of Percivale, as it is at his castle where Percivale first sees the Grail.  Having been raised by his mother, ignorant of the ways of men, Percivale asked the wrong question, or failed to ask a question in various tellings, either causing the Fisher King pain or failing to heal him. 

.....Percivales path to the Round Table saw him born of King Pellinore or a notable knight, and an unnamed mother.  After the death of his father, Percivale is raised in seclusion by his mother, until a chance meeting at age 15 brings him back to the world of men. 

.....Percivale is considered to have natural prowess as a warrior and using these talents, quickly gains favor, joining the Knights of the Round Table, where his first task is to pursue an unnamed knight who had offended Guinevere. 

Percivales shield.

 

.....The second of the Grail Knights was Sir Galahad.  Galahad is generally accepted in the tellings as the hero of the Grail stories.  Galahad is most noted as the son of Sir Lancelot and Elaine of Carbonek.  In most tellings Elaine tricked Lancelot into lying with her (aided by magic)causing Galahad to be known as  the bastard son of Lancelot. 

.....Galahad is renowned for his gallantry and purity. He is perhaps the knightly embodiment of Jesus in the Arthurian legends.

.....Aftter his birth Galahad is placed in the care of his great aunt, the abbess at a nunnery, and is raised there.

.....Upon reaching adulthood, Galahad is knighted by Lancelot, and during the Pentecost Sir Galahad walks over to the Round Table and takes his seat at the Siege Perilous. This seat was to remain vacant except for the sole person who would accomplish the quest of the Holy Grail.  To anyone else sitting there, it would prove to be immediately fatal. Sir Galahad survives and the king then asks the young knight to perform a test which involves pulling a sword from a stone. This he accomplishes with ease, and King Arthur swiftly proclaims Sir Galahad to be the greatest knight in the world.

.....According to the legend, only pure knights may achieve the Grail. Galahad appears to have lived a sinless life, and so as a result, lives and thinks on a level entirely apart from the other knights of the legend.

.....A difference in the stories occurs after finding the Grail.  In some tellings Galahad is lifted into Heaven like Enoch or Elijah of biblical reference.  In other tellings Galahad requested of Joseph of Arimathea that he die, which was granted. 

.....Humorously, Galahad's chastity was challenged in the film Monthy Python and the Holy Grail, where he is almost seduced by a nunnery full of lithe young women.

Glahad's shield-reported to have been painted in blood by Joseph of Arimathea.

 

.....The final of the Grail Knights is Sir Bors de Ganis.  Sir Bors is the son of King Bors of Gannes.  Bors is the only one of the three Grail Knights to survive the quest. 

.....Bors was known as a chaste knight until the daughter of King Brandegoris (much like Elaine, aided by magic) tricked him into relations with her, causing the birth of Elyan the White, who would later become the Emperor of Constantinople. 

.....Bors' chastity was challenged by a woman who vowed to kill herself if he would not sleep with her.  Bors refused and when the woman threw herself from a castle tower, she was revealed as a Demon attempting to deceive him through his compassion. 

.....In another dilemna Bors is forced to choose between saving his brother Lionel from tormentors and saving a young maiden abducted by a rogue knight.  Bors saves the maiden, praying for his brother's safety.  Lionel attempts to kill Bors, who does not defend himself, but is immobilized by a pillar of fire from God. 

.....Bors was the cousin of Lancelot, and joined him in exile fighting alongside him in the war against Arthur.  Following Lancelot's death, Bors returned to the Holy Land and died during the Crusades. 

 

.....I chose the three knights above as my favorites of all time because they have achieved that which noone (with the exception of Indiana Jones ;) ) has, laying eyes upon the Holy Grail.  The Grail is the most sought after religous relic of all time and is, has been, and will continue to be the inspiration of stories and legends. 

 

*A Potted History of the Infantry*

(by diamondmask)

 

The infantry (from the Italian for infant) are the foot soldiers of the military.  They have always had very tough, rigorous training to build up both physical stamina and the expertise needed in combat  of both unarmed and armed  fighting.  The need for discipline; personal and physical are mandatory for this kind of soldiering.  Casualties tend to be high as they are in the forefront of battle.

 

Care of their weapons is considered an integral part of their training - a gun that hasn't been cleaned and oiled properly can be the last thing an infantryman regrets in the field.  To be able to reload as fast  as possible has obvious advantages in combat.

 

Tactics has also been part of the curriculum in the past - to be able to anticipate the enemy and plan for most contingencies based on the experiences of previous battles. 

 

Foot soldiers date back to  the ancient Egyptian armies (approximately 2450 BC).  They started out as mainly undisciplined conscripts rounded up by the local leaders - early Egypt had no standing armies at all.  Foreign mercenaries were also contracted (as opposed to conscripted) into service.  Orders were simply shouted at the ranks by 'officers' (who were just the local leaders of the conscriptees)  which remained the way all armies worked until recent times.

 

This eventually changed as the pharaohs became more ambitious and the local militia became a large, well drilled army conforming to strict regulations and the officers became professionals who introduced military administrators.  The red tape started here folks!

 

The infantry were divided up into four divisions, each named after one of the gods; Amun, Ptah, Set and Re.  These divisions were then further divided up into companies and platoons, each led by an officer.

 

Weapons were the basic clubs, maces, spears, axes, slings, bows and arrows.  And for protection, they had shields made of hide.  Later in Egypt's history (the New Kingdom) armor was introduced; lightly padded fabric and bronze scales.  As you can tell, this was the basic blue print for weapons and armor for the next 3-4 thousand years - quite the trend setters.

 

The classic period made famous the use of phalanxes by the ancient  Greeks the mighty legions of Imperial Rome.  Many of todays tactics are based on those used by these armies. 

 

As technology advanced so did the weaponry - for instance the invention of the sword, steel, guns, radio's and computers.  This has had a huge effect on the way the infantry now conduct themselves.    They do not study tactics as deeply and their methods of training and fighting are geared towards less organized formations.  This is due to the reliance on remote spying devices and weapons that can be activated remotely.

 

There is still one 'future' weapon that could make the infantryman obsolete - biological weapons.  Those that make the decisions are further and further away from their foot soldiers and 'ground zero' and the implication of this and it could effect decision making should raise real concerns. 

[Mystica]

 

 

October 2007 Competition Winners

(by Bridmorgan)

 

Great news for all you Hunters and De-Scramblers out there!  Announcing the return of the Scavenger Hunt and Word Scramble!  I know I’ve missed these two competitions the past two months and I’m very happy to see them return.  As for the competitions last month, we had The Great Hunt and Sudoku, with a total of 5 winners!  Who are they you ask?  Well, don’t get your knickers in a twist…I’ll tell ya! 

 

Sudoku Competion:

 

We had two entrants this month, both with perfect scores and both from the Infantry!

 

First, Arrandion made it back on the winners block again with a perfect score!  Glad to have you back in full swing Arra!  Congrats Arra!!

 

Our second winner, another wily Infant, is Talya with another perfect score!  I’ll tell ya, I’m glad this one is now in charge of the Scavenger Hunt and Word Scramble so I don’t have to compete with that brain!  Congrats Talya!!

 

They both win 3 Game Points and the October Sudoku Pin!

 

Great Hunt:

 

We had 2 people answering both parts of the puzzle correctly and one answering one part.

 

First, Taymist, the estimable XO and all around competition trouncer got both sections correct!  Congratulations Tay!!

 

Second, Bridmorgan, the beautiful, amazing, hot…oh sorry, where was I?  She also got both sections correct!  Congratulations Me!

 

Our final winner is Arrandion!  He answered one part correctly!  Great job Infantman! 

 

The winners receive 1 Org point!

 

Congratulations again to all the winners!  I know the Holidays are coming up and with all the running around we do, not to mention the food comas wouldn’t curling up with a pencil and one or more of the Competitions be a great way to relax?

 

Happy Holidays to everyone and I’ll see you all next month!

 

 

[Mystica]

November Competitions

 

HS Scavenger Hunt for November

(by Talya)

 

Test your knowledge of the World of Wheel of Time.

 

Instructions:

 

Below you find 20 questions to which you are to find the answers. Use whatever means necessary but to pass you'll need to get at least 12 of the 20 questions correct.

 

Rules:

 

- PM your answers to Talya before 20 December 2007

- Any answers posted on the boards automatically results in disqualification

- Only the first pm sent in will be considered. So make sure you double check on typos and if you aren’t sure yet of your answers take the time to check them out. No additional answers or corrections will be accepted.

 

Winnings:

 

- Band members that win will receive 5 Lottery Chips + HS Scavenger Hunt Medal Pin of the Month

- Non-Banders will receive the HS Scavenger Hunt Medal Pin of the Month

- Prizes will be handed out in a thread on the public board of the BoTRH on DM.

 

 

1. Who has apparently been bestowed with the title Nae’blis and what was their original forsaken name and AoL name?

 

2. What is Mats fate according to the Aelfinn?

 

3. What is a two-step and why is it called that?

 

4. Which Aiel befriended Mat and then tried to kill him resulting in her death by his hand?

 

5. Finish this quote: “The creator is good, Perrin. The father of lies evil. The Pattern of Age, the Age lace it’s self is………….? Who said it?

 

6. Name the 5 known Ta’veren.

 

7. Where did Elan Morin get beaten by Lews Therin?

 

8. What percentage, in the AoL, of the population could learn to channel?

 

9. Name 5 of ‘The compact of the Ten Nations.

 

10. When is the Feast of Lights held?

 

11. Who is Mitress of Novices under Elaida a’Roihan?

 

12. Name Leane Sharif’s deceased Warder?

 

13. Who is currently Mistress of Ships?

 

14. Who is Commnader of the Legion of the dragon?

 

15. What were the Daughters of Silence?

 

16. Who is the last known dreamer? (not including Egwene)

 

17. Who was stripped of her stole for nearly destroying The White Tower and which Ajah was she originally from?

 

18. How does Ran get his ‘Dragon Scepter?’

 

19. Which Ship did Rand, Mat and Thom jump onto when escaping Trollocs from Shadar Logoth?

 

20. What and Where is Kabal Deep?

 

 

 

Word Scramble for November~ Open to Everyone

(by Talya)

 

 

Rules:

 

- submit your answers by PM only to Talya before the 20th December

- only 1 pm can be sent, so make sure to double check your answers.

- you don't need to find all the answers to be a winner. The 10 top answers will decide the winners.

 

Winnings:

 

- Banders will earn 1 ORG point towards their promotions

- Banders and non-banders will earn the SH award pin of May.

- All winners will receive their prize in a ceremony on DM and have their name published in the next edition of Hornsounder.

 

1. Ramie Nose

2. Massif In Moot Nut

3. Weenie Forth Jog

4. Lards Wend Nod

5. Dream Roan

6. Rainfall Hot Ski

7. A Nomad Profiles

8. Handler Melee Rent

9. Rewove Nests

10. Hard Has Mar

11. Deacon Arm

12. Afar Yam Robe

13. Lace Moles

14. Seaplane Gin Rill

15. Arachnids Tinged

 

[Mystica]

Sudoku for November~open to everyone

(by DirewolfJon)

 

Instructions:

 

Below you find a Sudoku puzzle level 3. Your job is to fill in the missing numbers using numbers from 1 to 9 only.

If you'd like to practice a bit, you can find an easy and a medium level sudoku puzzle in the Games section, a little further in the Hornsounder.

 

--> type the numbers per row in the proper order and send your answer to Direwolfjon in a PM before 20 December 2007.

 

Rules:

 

- each number can only appear once in every row, every column ànd every square

- only answers sent in a PM will be valid, any posting of possible answers on the boards will result in immediate disqualification.

- you are only allowed to send in ONE pm, so make sure you double check your answers before sending them in.

 

Winners:

 

- the first 6 correct submissions will determine the winners

--> these will be split between: 3 Banders and 3 Non-banders if enough participants play. If not, it will simply go to the top 6 players.

- in case of a tie, the date and hour of submission will determine the winner.

- the winners will be announced in a ceremony together with the other competitions on the public board of the Band on DM ànd will be mentioned in the next edition of Hornsounder.

 

Winnings:

 

- For Band members: 3 Game Points + Sudoku pin!

- For Non-Band members: Sudoku pin!

- For all winners: announcement in the next Hornsounder Edition + Public Ceremony & Party at the public Band boards on DM.

 

 

Now get those grey cells cracking!

 

 

[Mystica]

November Games

 

Easy

 

Medium

 

 

Answers to Last Month's Games

 

Competitions

 

Sudoku

 

Games

 

Easy Sudoku

 

Medium Sudoku

[Mystica]

Jokes

 

*The Borg versus Microsoft*

(by Horus the Silver)

 

Picard "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?"

 

Geordi "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology."

 

Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.

 

Riker looks puzzled. "What in the world is 'Microsoft'?"

 

Data turns to answer. "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."

 

Picard "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"

 

Data "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions."

 

Picard "Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable geometric shape' idea."

 

Fifteen minutes later . . .

 

Data "Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources. We however have not received any confirmation of the expected 'upgrade'."

 

Geordi "Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase."

 

Picard "Data, scan the history banks again and determine if their is something we have missed."

 

Data "Sir, I believe their is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'. Apparently, the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards.

 

Riker "Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . ."

 

Geordi, excited "Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% !"

 

Picard "Data, what do your scanners show?"

 

Data "Apparently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity."

 

Picard "Lets wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce their functionality."

 

Two hours pass . . .

 

Riker "Geordi what's the status on the Borg?"

 

Geordi "As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have set up, our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'Windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.

 

Picard "How much time will that buy us ?"

 

Data "Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours."

 

Geordi "Captain, another vessel has entered our sector."

 

Picard "Identify."

 

Data "It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo"

 

Over the speakers:

"THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS"

 

Data "The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects."

 

Picard "Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft"

 

Riker "Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits ! How can they survive the tortures of deep space ?!"

 

Data "I don't believe that those are humans sir, if you will look closer, I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits"

 

Riker and Picard together horrified "Lawyers !!"

 

Geordi "It can't be. All the lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening."

 

Data "True, but apparently some must have survived."

 

Riker "They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers."

 

Data "I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as 'red tape'. I understand that it often proves fatal."

 

Riker "They're tearing the Borg to pieces !"

 

Picard "Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that!"

 

 

*Miscellaneous terms*

(by Horus the Silver)

 

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

 

BEAUTY PARLOUR: A place where women curl up and dye.

 

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

 

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

 

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

 

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

 

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

 

GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.

 

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

 

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

 

MYTH: A female moth.

 

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

 

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

 

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

 

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

 

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

 

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.

 

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

 

WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.

 

 

*Dad and Dave - Good Aussie Jokes*

(by Taluka)

 

Because he and Mabel were going to live with Dad and Mum when they got married, Dave wanted Dad to build a new dunny to replace the existing delapidated one. Dad resisted the idea strongly.

"Its been good enough for Mum and me for all these years, so it's good enough for you and Mabel."

Dave was determined, so he fitted a fuse and a cap to a plug of gelignite, dropped it into the dunny and retreated behind a stump to watch. He had just made it to the stump, when Dad came out of the kitchen and headed for the dunny. He rushed from behind the stump and yelled at Dad to save him from disaster. But Dad though he was trying to beat him to the dunny and put his head down and ran faster.

"You young blokes ain't as good as yer think you are," he yelled. Dad got there first and had barely entered the building, when up it went. Ka-boom. Dave rushed to Dad's aid and extricated him from the wreckage.

"Are you all right, Dad?" he asked.

"I'm all right son, but stone the crows yer mother would have been annoyed if I'd let that one go in the kitchen!"

 

 

*Origins*

(by Taluka)

 

"Where did I come from, Mum?" asked a six-year-old.

Mum had been dreading the question but decided against euphermism. She gave the little boy a very frank, candid description beginning with the deviant act and concluding with the dramas of the delivery room. She then awaited his reaction.

"I just wondered," said the child. "The boy who sits in front of me came from New Zealand."