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Missing Blogs and People

Posted by alannalynn, 06 December 2010 · 109 views

For some odd reason none of my blogs are making it to print lately... wonder why? For some reason all of my blogs turn into an awful long page of ranting and raving about nitpicky stuff and people-problems that probably shouldn't be aired for the world to see. Why must I have these problems? For a simple answer: because I'm not much of a people person.

Yes, I enjoy people sometimes, I enjoy company sometimes, but that is only sometimes. My best friends are my best friends because we don't need and rely on each other. Yes, we may need each other, but it isn't a constant thing. I'm not shutting off close relationships, I'll go into that later, but my friendships are more like drug hits, and Darky can attest to that. It'll be a week, a week and a half, and then it's like "oh (insert fav word here), I haven't seen her in 10 days!" Or something akin to that, at least.

I enjoy being alone, don't stab me for it. I spend all day sitting in classrooms listening to professors lecture, all the rest of the day and night listening to picky customers who don't understand the meaning of TACO, when I get home, I want my damn quiet! And badly! So, when my mother comes up to me at 3am when I get off work wanting to play 50 questions, all I flippin' want is to sit at the computer screen in silence, taking care of catching up with DM or FB or the news and such. I'm sorry about that. Quiet is necessary. And when I want to retreat to my room to read WoT or something else to rid myself of stress, LET ME DO IT PLEASE!

As for relationships: I'm hesitant to get close to people. I've spent my whole life pushing people away the second I feel them getting close. Blame parental divorce, blame moving schools so much, blame what you like, but I'm uncomfortable getting close to people, and it's those that push through my uncomfortableness that I love the most. Bring me out of my little bubble, please, I actually am a nice person, I swear. Maybe this is why I've never had a boyfriend, or even want one, I don't want to be close, and like I mentioned with my low maintenance friendships, I don't want commitment right now. All I want at the moment is to finish up with college, get a job and get settled, then maybe I'll think about men and kids and all that mushy stuff...

Getting back to my main point and away from my people trouble again, most of my problems stem from me being anti social and therefore "lazy" and then I come on here to rant and rave about it because I don't have enough friends with enough ears to listen. So here's this blog that I'm always writing for, but never publishing. Think of all those billions of words you're missing from lil' Laine's fingers... :sleep: Be glad I'm sparing you the short ones.




Good thing I almost never pm you... :wink:
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